PILS cut off DH

[Alibongo33]

After another argument between DH and BIL yesterday in PILS house (they've never got on) which ended up with BIL saying to me, DH and DC that we are a bunch of weirdos and to piss off. PILS never intervened and so we left PILS house. DH rang last night to sort out issue and to arrange times he could visit without BIL being there ( even though I think this is generous as they have always been on BILS side) they said all the arguments was causing them stress and upset so they said goodbye, they love DH but can't go on like this. They said they haven't said the same thing to BIL because he needs they to do childcare and other things and so this is the final straw of them treating their sons differently. DH is devastated even though he has always known BIL is favourite.

What do I do? Beg his parents to think differently? How to help DH?

Oh, ali how stressful :(
I am afraid it might be time to step away from them completely for a while. The situation will not improve with further input.

Your poor DH. He needs help to deal with his parents' favouritism. Books, 'stately homes' thread, counselling etc.
He won't change his parents, but he can change his reactions to them. But it will be hard.
This is very sad. He is lucky to have you to support him

Seriously? Be glad this dysfunctional set up is over. Exactly how does one beg people to think differently? I really don't think that is a good idea and hopefully neither will you when you have got over the shock.

The best thing you can do for him is persuade him to get some counselling so he can move on from what sounds like a lifetime of emotional abuse, not having his needs met by his parents, favouritism etc.

I know it must be a horrible time but try not to get sucked back into the vortex. Maybe try the Stately Homes thread if you haven't been there before, lots of us in your position or your DH position. He would be equally welcome. It sounds like you are wonderfully caring and supportive and I hope you have a bright future that doesn't include begging people to love you or your family. Can you see now how wrong it is? It's just that you and he have been conditioned to think of it as normal.

Good Luck.

I am so sorry for your husband.

This sounds half way between a bereavement situation and a divorce situation (if you could divorce your parents).

Distance has been imposed by them and is probably for the best, at least for now. Your husband will be reeling and he will need time and space to grieve for them and for the shattered illusions of love and acceptance. No matter how much you realise you're the less-loved child in your head, in your heart its still really hard to accept and believe. Even if you can get in contact again in the future, the reality is that he is the less loved child and accepting that will help him cope better.

He'll need a lot of love from you atm.

Sorry to hear this OP . How horrible for your DH. I hope he gets through it with your support .My OP is estranged from his parent currently after putting up with passive aggressive 'games' for years, including causing rest of family to turn against his son with lies and manipulation. He really is the 'unfavoured child'. Its not easy to live with..I know OP is sad inside I wonder how all will end up, sometimes. Supporting as best you can is all you can do. Really good advice from posters on this thread, some of which Im going to follow too. Not trying to hijack your thread OP, just some of your story resonated with me. Good luck, your DH has you to love and care for him and thats a good thing.