proposal :)

[gaygirlwales]

Hello mumsnetters.

Looking for some advice. . Myself amd my girlfriend are very much in love. My gf hates being the centre of attention... I want to propose but I don't want her to feel like..."arghhhh all eyes on me".
We have tickets to a band in may which will be our anniversary. .. is placing flash cards in her hand for her to read through, cheesy? It would be while a really nice song that we like is playing and the flash cards will be simple text like what I love about her and in the end I would place the ring towards her? Please tell me what you would dream of as a proposal x

How big would flash cards be? If she hates being centre of attention and you're in a packed gig then others could read too? I think it's a really sweet idea. I dreamed of a thousand proposal scenarios on top of mountains, in restaurants, on the beach etc. when DH actually got round to it it was in my house and he hid the ring in my Lego advent calendar. I wasn't at all sad, it was very "us", and that moment was a beginning not an end... I think sometimes sweet/silly personal gestures can mean more than sweeping public ones. If she has no idea you're planning on proposing, even a simple dinner at home could be beautiful. Good luck!!

If she hates the attention then I would say don't make it a statement. Just ask her if she will marry you, when you are alone.

My DH proposed to me in the kitchen with a tea-towel slung over his shoulder (he just blurted it out). He cringes at the memory but to me, the end result is the same - he asked me to marry him, I said yes and we got married. How it all happened isn't important to me, it's that it happened that I care about.

I never dreamed of a proposal, I would always have wanted a sensible conversation about it rather than a grand gesture. I think the flash cards are a bit much, but she might like them. I wouldn't do it while a band is playing, she won't have an opportunity to talk to you about it. It would feel a bit weird to me, get handed an engagement ring and just have to say yes and then get on with the concert!

If she hates being the centre of attention, propose quietly at home. Honestly.

Honestly? I think it sounds Not At All Good. She won't be able to talk to you, flashcards at a concert is weird, it might draw attention to her which she hates.

You do know proposals don't have to involve public places don't you?

Personally a tea towel proposal sounds ideal to me, but if you feel the need to do something "romantic", why not cook her a nice meal at home, tell her what you think rather than writing it down on flashcards like an awkward teenage boy and then ask her? You can then actually have a conversation. Silly old me thinking a proposal isn't some pantomime followed by an automatic 'yes' from the eager, waiting woman.

I can see you want to make it memorable but you can do memorable and private too.
If she doesn't like being the centre of attention, I'd suggest somewhere just the two of you would be better.

I wouldn't have liked a public thing either.

My oh took me to a firework display (we first met at one yrs ago) and then for dinner, he stopped as we walked home and asked me, late at night, no one else about!

Why not do it after the concert, or maybe book a hotel room or something and make a night of it and do it when your alone?

The decision to get married is taken between two people, not an anecdote-in-waiting with a ring as a punchline. If DH had done that I would have DIED.

No, sorry. It's really not a great idea at all. What's intimate, loving or romantic about being handed a flash card in the middle of a noisy, crowded room? How is she even meant to answer you?

Just ask her at home, the two of you, no big gestures, no gimmicks. Just ask her. Then you can, you know, talk about it, together.

It's a lovely idea and very romantic. But if she hates being the centre of attention it might not go down well. What about hiding the flash cards around your house? In really obviously places (by the kettle, on her pillow) and then the last one to find is the ring?

My DH proposed to me during the advert break of the X-Files. He said, "Will you marry me?" I said "Yes" and then he asked if I wanted a cuppa.

I hate being the centre of attention, even at my own wedding.

I think something low key like at home or a quiet stroll - I am thinking beach but prob not so great in this weather - where there are few people about will be nice. The thing about a very public place like a concert is that she may feel all eyes on her and constrained to say 'yes' (I am sure she would anyway) and feel like she is put on the spot somewhat, even if there is no one else watching specifically.

I have always thought over-the-top wedding proposals (such as giant billboards) say more about the man than what the man feels about the woman. It would make a good anecdote for the wedding speech, I guess.

My friend dh proposed when they were in the middle of a massive argument in a night club queue! . They are still married over 15 years later.

I think the flash card idea is quite cute but not in the middle of a concert. Do you think she will say yes straight away? If you are not 100% sure or it might be unexpected then give her some space to process it and don't back her into a corner forcing her to say yes