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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

arghhhh fuck off and take your lazy arse and gormless facecaway!

26 replies

fourbythree · 03/01/2014 15:24

sorry this is pathetic really and probably due to my pregnancy hormones but arghhhhhhhhh.... bf lives in another city.... has been staying over Xmas and is still here... he's a lovely bloke and we usually get on really well... but he is seriously doing my head in! he sleeps in til 10 then starts yawning from about 12... and I'm like - you can't seriously be tired can you???? I've had to ask him to go home tomorrow instead of Monday just so I can have some relief from him staring at me every 5 seconds.... I know I'm being a bit irrational but it feels good to let it out....

OP posts:
cheapskatemum · 03/01/2014 15:32

Ummm, excuse me for asking, but is he the sire of your child?

Elderflowergranita · 03/01/2014 15:35

Crikey! What kind of future do you see with him?

Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 15:45

yes he is babies dad.... I'm hoping this is hormones coupled with him being in my house for so long with nothing much to do.... sinking feeling that I am being optimistic that he will have a bit more oomph about him when we are living in our new house...gulp

OP posts:
LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 03/01/2014 15:46

Sire? Grin

CuntyBunty · 03/01/2014 15:48

Does your NN mean what I think it does?

RollerCola · 03/01/2014 15:50

Will you be living together once the baby is born? Have you ever lived together before? Or have you not known him very long?

Dirtybadger · 03/01/2014 15:50

Is there a reason he's tired?

My parents used to think I was lazy. I was just depressed and finding it difficult to sleep. So even after rolling out of bed at 11am I hadn't had enough sleep and the depression meant I wanted back to my bed pretty quickly.
Being yawny tired after only a few hours of being awake is quite extreme. I lasted about 8 hours before I was nackered.

"gormless face" is quite harsh :(

Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 15:54

yes cunty I have 3 other children .. we have known each other since we were little and have been dating for over 18 months but its generally been weekends and the odd week away. I'm sure its just we are on different schedules... I'm up early with the kids and tired because I'm pg so go to bed early... he's never had kids and is used to a rather relaxed easy lifestyle...big learning curve....

OP posts:
Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 15:55

dirty I know its hash! its horrible and he doesn't deserve it in the slightest.... I'm generally quite a nice lovely person... I'm sure it must be my hormones making me feel like I'm in the middle of a years worth of PMTin one go!

OP posts:
Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 15:57

maybe he's finding it hard being here with a house that's full of kids and he's hiding in bed.....

OP posts:
Teeb · 03/01/2014 16:24

Was this child planned with your weekend boyfriend?

SweetSeraphim · 03/01/2014 16:29

Oh my god, she's just ranting! What's with all the judgement about her pregnancy? Hmm

Teeb · 03/01/2014 16:31

Honestly if my partner came online saying they wished I would 'Fuck off and take my lazy arse and formless face away' they would be an ex.

HyvaPaiva · 03/01/2014 16:40

This thread's nasty. Can hormones honestly be solely responsible for being so horrible about your partner and father of your baby?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 03/01/2014 16:44

Sweet - because, and forgive me for being old-fashioned here, I don't think you should procreate with someone who you can't stand to be in the same room as.

Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 16:45

and there was me thinking mumsnet was progressive! yes it was planned and yes pg hormones can be to blame .... and yes I will have 4kids by 3 dads... sheesh and there was me thinking I was amoung friends...

you'll be pleased to know the hormone surge has gone ... and at least I said it here in private instead of to his face.... happily sitting in harmony with him now Hmm

OP posts:
SomethingkindaOod · 03/01/2014 17:58

OP I spent the Christmas before last very pregnant and not being able to stay in the same room as DH without wanting to flick the V's at him whenever he breathed! (And for everybody else's benefit just to let you know we've been together 15 years and the pregnancy resulted in our third child.)
Totally normal and won't be the last time, I found it got worse by the last 2 or 3 weeks. Is he generally a helpful sort of bloke? I find that this holiday tends to be lazy for everyone after the madness of a Christmas and New Year.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/01/2014 18:12

Have you had a conversation about expectations when the baby arrives? Because if he is tired after two hours awake, a baby will kill him.

aziraphale · 03/01/2014 19:38

Does he work long hours, and is he on Xmas break? I can see why he might be a bit overwhelmed by "suddenly" living with the family but this is presumably what he wanted? There will be a period of adjustment, and giving him the benefit of the doubt, it is sometimes hard for a childless person to comprehend how busy life with children is... Maybe you made it look easy to him before? (That's not a slight, but perhaps he hasn't been witness to family life in all its guts and glory before) Regardless, his life is going to change soon and this will be his learning curve and a very steep one it will be too. Could you talk to him about your concerns about how he's finding it? You're in this together.

Kandypane · 03/01/2014 19:50

Sounds to me like he might be over-sleeping. This can make you as tired as getting too little sleep

Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 20:08

we have talked about it lots - he will do anything if I ask him to..if I leave him a list it gets done but then I feel like his mum! but I'd like him to be more proactive which I'm hoping he will be when we are living together rather than him being a visitor at my house.
thank you for the reassurance about hormones!

OP posts:
EirikurNoromaour · 03/01/2014 20:28

It's not about having 4 by three dads, it's about how you seem quite unprepared to be having a baby with him! He's lazy and sleeps all morning, doesn't know how to live in a house with lots of kids yet you are about to move in and have a baby? You're in for a rough ride I think. Best of luck.

Original poster
fourbythree · 03/01/2014 21:26

thanks for reaffirming for me that its not to do with having 4 kids by 3 dads.... have no idea why that has got anything to do with my current partners laziness?

I think its him that's unprepared not me... that's what happens when you get to 40 and have no children...

steep learning curve like I said!

OP posts:
IrishBloodEnglishHeart · 03/01/2014 22:19

Oh yeah! 40 and no kids, that'll do it to you. He'll soon get up to speed :)

Cabrinha · 03/01/2014 23:36

I wouldn't leave it to "hoping" that he's more proactive about household jobs when you move in together. Words up front are called for I think! That can be a very big source of tension.
How soon do you get a place together? Might be better sooner rather than later, so he and the oldest 3 get a chance to get into a routine with each other before the baby arrives?