Seperated- are we confusing dc?

[Stillcomingtoterms]

Dh and I separated beginning of November. We have dd9 and ds7.
The split was amicable and so we've remained quite good friends. However I don't know if the fact that were friendly to each other could cause more issues for the dc or if it is In fact better this way.

He has the dc twice a week at his but in between he may call in if he's passing just for coffee and to say hi to dc or call.
we've also discussed maybe going away together as neither of us can afford separate holidays.

I'm worried that dd will think as we spend time together there's a chance we will get back together and that we're giving mixed signals, but then on the other Hand I think us being friendly and spending time with them together is better than us arguing or slagging each other off.

Can anyone whose dealt with similar or has been a child of divorced parents give me some advice?

my h and I separated in November after 13yrs dcs aged 8 and 6. I know its very early days but we too are getting along well enough. initially he was here a lot as he did lot school runs as I had just gone back to ft work. however after Christmas I have put more boundaries up re h coming into the house and going to ask for my key.

we both want to be dcs parents so I think you're right to be amicable. and as hard as it is I want to be h friend as before anything else that's what we always were. but its hard and I think some boundaries are necessary for all concerned.

our dcs face time or call him when they want to but it doesn't involve me. we reassure them we love them and are working on building up their confidence in his house as that was tricky to start. but think its important they see there are definitely two houses.

we plan too to do birthdays etc together. holidays? maybe but I think I'd find that hard let alone dcs.

good luck

Thanks all for the comments. You've helped me to see that we are doing the right thing but maybe we do need to be careful we don't muddy the boundaries and mix dc up. I still worry about when to tell dc about his sexuality. Not everyone knows so I know telling dd will probably mean those I haven't told will all get to find out. I'm worried what they will all think about me
also the point about making sure I don't depend on him so that I never need another adult is also a good one. It could be that if dh finds the love of his life I would feel dumped all over again.

Bt dont worry your post wasn't offensive and it was good to get another perspective on what could go wrong and why. So thank you.

At the moment he has set days when he has them and I don't go to his house unless dropping them off. I've tried to big up the fact that they now have two houses and two sets of toys etc.
He has a key to ours but it was only if dc needed something and I wasn't here. However if passing he does just pop in and walk in so maybe I'll say that he needs to call first or knock the door and wait for us to let him in. He does only call over when the dc are here. As for the staying over he just stayed the once On Xmas eve as they said they wanted him to be there when they opened their stockings.