Am extremely angry & upset AGAIN with husband

[gladxmasisover]

Can someone please give me their opinion on this situation with H as I cannot speak to him at the moment as very angry at him?

Basically he can be unsociable (only when it involves my friends and family).
Four years ago when I was diagnosed with cancer (just before Xmas) we both agreed to make more of an effort at xmas, he hates xmas , I'm not that keen but I never let it stop me making a big effort as our DD's were 3 & 10 at the time.

The xmas following the diagnosis, he was great and we had a good time. Last xmas was good again but he refused to do anything over the new year so me and DD's did our own thing. We went for a meal NYE and to the cinema.

This xmas back to normal self . Me and DD's went out for a meal xmas eve, admittedly I did not ask him as he no doubt would have refused. Plus he's not keen on restaurant we were going to.

NYE DD's & I went to a family party but H refused to go. New years day I took DD's to cinema and a meal. Again I did not ask him as he does not like the cinema.

He stormed out of the house just before we left saying that he was going out.

My older DD said I should have asked him to go to the cinema anyway even though he would have refused. I was angry with him over NYE so could not be bothered.

H and I had a big arguement when we got back, he said I should have asked him to go even though he probably would not have gone! The xmas eve meal he said we should have gone later when he got back home, however he was out and I was not sure when he was coming home.

I see photos taken on his phone out with his friends,enjoying himself and being the life and soul of the party but he can never be like that with me and the children.

My older DD is unhappy with him and has told him he is immature. She said she is unhappy at home as there is always an atmosphere but is always asking me to promise her that me and H wont split up. Many of her friends parents have.

I so unhapppy at the moment. I dont want to split up with him in case my cancer comes back. The DD's happiness is the most important.

H is good to the children.

Older DD is at an age whereby she picks up on things. She's picked up on many things such as he never apologises even when later on he's found to be in the wrong. But he's always been like that.

Anyway he came home from work and we have had a chat. I apologised for not inviting him out. He said he wouldnt have come out with us but wanted to be asked.

He said he will come for a meal with my friend and her husband (doesnt like the husband so originally said he wouldn't come with me - only met him twice!).

He agreed he should have come with me to take the children to a bonfire in November (this also featured in our arguement).

I have agreed to ask him in the future and he has agreed to try harder.

Will see what happens.

Thank you all,

Good luck with it.

Please, if your marriage is important to you to fix, don't get too hung up on what he should have done in the past. Instead, try to find a positive way for you both to decide what you could enjoy together as a family and then you organise it if needs be and it won't get done otherwise.

If you want something doing then do it yourself and be the sort of person to him that you want him to be with you. If you do the same as you always did them you get what you always got.

Have you asked him why he feels so much more relaxed and happy at events without you? That might be a start? Good luck x