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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

match.com - is it worth it?

38 replies

Grockle · 02/01/2014 12:06

I won't use POF any more but have been messing about on OK Cupid. Is match.com likely to be any better? I keep going to sign up then see how expensive it is and chicken out - it's SO expensive but might be worth it? I don't know?

OP posts:
siquando · 02/01/2014 12:14

I'm on OKCupid, enjoying it very much.

issey6cats · 02/01/2014 13:20

i found match.com rubbish on non pay you cant answer any messages and just get lots of winks from other people who are not paying either, i paid for 3 months subscription and didnt get one single message in that 3 months ok im older at 56 but on other sites i have had lots of interest even if i or the other person didnt follow through

xfilefan · 02/01/2014 13:26

my brother and his mrs got together through match.com and are still very happy togetehr 2 years later so we vote its worth it!

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 02/01/2014 13:31

My friend met someone in Jan on Match.com and they got married in Sept...seriously thinking of signing up myself - but won't be getting hitched that quickly!

CleverWittyUsername · 02/01/2014 16:33

I met my husband on match so I would say give it a go!

CosyTeaBags · 02/01/2014 17:03

I met my DP (of 3.5 years) on Match.com within a few months.

Trouble is, I'd signed up for a whole year, while he had only signed up for a month. I still tell him that since I paid more for him than he did for me, he owes me BIG time! ;)

We both agreed since then that the paid sites are better, because the people on there are more likely to be serious about it.

Also, when you think about how much money you might spend going on nights out in the hope of meeting someone, or if you think about the cost of a nice meal out.. it's not that much.

PaulaFletch14 · 02/01/2014 17:03

I would definately recommend Match.com I met my Fiancé on match 17 months ago. We're getting married in August. I couldn't be happier.

And this is the woman who vowed she wouldn't get married again

stargirl1701 · 02/01/2014 17:05

I would recommend it. I used it for about 6 months and had a date every week. Fab boost to the ego! I didn't wait for men to send me a message though - I made the first electronic move! Good fun.

Grockle · 02/01/2014 17:11

Right, I will commit to it or a month or 3 & see what happens. Thank you. Lovely to see such positive stories.

OP posts:
CosyTeaBags · 02/01/2014 17:37

Hooray OP!

YY to using it to boost your ego. I loved chatting with lots of different men, really enjoyed all the emailing. Great fun.

Do let us know how you get on!

laundryoverload · 02/01/2014 18:24

I had a similar experience to stargirl. I was on it for a few months and had some lovely dates. The cost was well worth it as I had a lot of fun, mostly with generous men who foot the bill anyway! I didn't meet anyone serious but that wasn't the point of it for me, just a nice way to get out and boost the ego.

flatmum · 02/01/2014 18:38

There is a guy in my office who has rescently split with his partner. He is using match to get sex and now has a "shag kit" which he leaves in the office so can come in straight from dates and regale us with tales of the "slags" he meets who are "sad and desperate" and let him shag them that night. I overhear him telling other males in the office graphic details of what he did with them, including photos of them asleep which he rates on the "munter scale". He is a repulsive man. But seems to be getting a lot of dates (so he says anyway). Hopefully he is the exception not the rule, but be careful of creeps like him (his sole aim is to get women to sleep with him on the first date, thus proving that are "slags", like his ex).

I have no experience of online dating mind you, just repeating what I hear. He's probably full of shit (definitely has a paid for profile on match.com though and has the photos)

Hope there are some genuine people on there for you.

WinterBlondie83 · 02/01/2014 22:45

Oh gosh Flatmum, he sounds vile!

IMO Match was great. Met my husband on there so definitely worth it! Grin

princessalbert · 02/01/2014 22:51

Eurgh flatmum - he sounds a charmer.

I met DH on Match.com. We have been married almost 6 years now.

I did meet other, relatively long term bf on there too. so I do think that the sites that you have to pay for are better really.

I also had an account on Girls Date For Free. (does that still exist?) It seemed to me that the men on there were not really looking for a relationship. More of a quick shag.

Morien · 02/01/2014 22:58

Met my DH on match too. Didn't go on any other dates and nor did he as we met within a couple of days of each of us signing up, but I did get lots of lovely messages from apparently very genuine men, which made me feel good about myself and about life in general, somehow - in a 'there are nice people out there after all' kind of way.

Orangeychoc · 02/01/2014 23:03

I met my DH on match too. In the year or so previous to meeting him I also had a lot of fun emailing & dating a range of guys. Also enjoyed spotting my mates on there (was part of a large club social scene at the same time)

As long as you're careful I can't see any harm?

Christelle2207 · 02/01/2014 23:05

I would recommend- met my x on there and was with him for 2 years. Only problem was that there were a LOT of men hence time consuming to weed out the duds. After that I went on guardian soulmates (smaller pool) and my dh was the 2 nd person I met.

Christelle2207 · 02/01/2014 23:11

Btw before I met my xp on match.com I had dates with about 30(took it very seriously!) and the vast majority were nice (and paid for dinner). I only remember 2 twats and even they weren't really dodgy. You do need to be prepared to meet people quickly though- too often I would get "sucked in", chat online for ages, finally meet and then be disappointed. Better to meet and have it over with before you've wasted too much time mailing and talking on the phone.

isitnormal · 02/01/2014 23:18

I met my fiance on Match too. Must have had at least 25 dates before I met him and chatted to countless others. Three of my friends have met their long term partners through match too, so I would say it can be worth it in the long term, although shortly before meeting DP I was losing the will to live with time wasters and had taken a break from OD. Be prepared to have a thick skin and face rejection a few times before things work out is my advice.

LittleBabyPigsus · 03/01/2014 00:19

Wish I could use Match but they won't let you identify as bisexual on it - actually very few sites do, POF and eHarmony won't either. OK Cupid is one of the few that do. I just don't have any success on it though :(

NotNewButNameChanged · 03/01/2014 09:10

I'm astonished to see so many positive stories about Match although glad to see some people enjoyed dating lots of men just to get their ego stroked and have dinner paid for. Lucky men.

Almost everyone I know who has been single more than a year has used Match, POF and OKC and I only know one person who got married as a result (he was her 18th date). The fact that he is exceptionally rich may have something to do with it, call me cynical. No one else I know - and by a quick totting up I can think of 40 people who have used online dating, including myself - no one else even got a relationship out of it or more than two months of exclusive dating with one person.

I do think much depends where in the country you live, however.

sheriffofnottingham · 04/01/2014 22:26

I was single for around 3 years before getting together with a colleague last year and went on quite a few dates from Match.com and POF and maybe I was lucky but I only met really lovely men. Never met the love of my life (have now, yay!) but had a couple of short relationships. Plenty of occasions I went on dates and it was clear we didn't fancy each other but still had a really nice night out chatting over a couple of drinks.

Having said that, I don't think match.com is worth the money, particularly if you live somewhere outside a major city - Match was great when I lived in London but very limited once I moved to Nottingham (you tend to find that those registered on match.com also turn up on POF as well). The free sites are fine as long as you are discerning and weed out the ones who send generic 'hiya babes' messages to everyone in the hope that if you throw enough sh*t some of it will stick (guessing this is Flatmum's colleagues approach - he sounds an utter delight!).

Whatever you decide, good luck and I hope you meet someone great.

tawse57 · 04/01/2014 22:51

No IMPO.

How many of the profiles in your area are actually paid up members? Even if you pay to join anyone you email will not get the email unless they paid a subscription also.

Waste of money IMPO. Join a club doing a hobby you enjoy. Not pilates or zumba but a sport or hobby where plenty of STRAIGHT men are members. Needed to get the straight bit in before someone told me about the men in her pilates or zumba classes - LOL!

ParsleyTheLioness · 04/01/2014 23:04

No good for me. Expensive, possibly a slightly odd way of implying that people had shown an interest in your profile, leading to embarassment (denied this had been the case, no way of knowing if true or not).
I had only one message the whole 3 months I was a member. From someone who said, and I quote, "Looks and size don't matter to me". Smooth talking bastard. I did reply, but only to suggest he had a refund from the charm school that his chat-up technique needed work. Also a bit rich as his picture indicated he had fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down Bitter, moi?!
I met someone on a free site soon after, still going strong several months later.

Flibbertyjibbet · 04/01/2014 23:32

Bil is recently divorced and joined match.com
Unfortunately he is another of the men who use it for sex. He is still bitter about his wife cheating on him and gloats that the women on match are all 'desperate' and will shag on the first date.

He also only seeks dates with professional higher earning women so he does his 'pity me' skint single dad bit so the women pay for dinner... he brags that the higher earning women have concentrated on their careers rather than relationships, and end up 'double desperate' (his words).

It's heartening to see so many here saying they met life partners via the site but you do need to watch out for nobbers like my bil.