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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

have told my partner not to come home

5 replies

forgetandforgive · 01/01/2014 23:13

we have 2ds together. being together for 12 years. for the past 10 years our relationship has become rocky and we started drifting apart. since he rented a takeaway 8years ago he would come home once a week. i have felt quite unhappy and insecure with him for a long time. so on new years eve i told him how i felt and it just isn't working. he took the kids to where he works for a week now and their dad will bring them home tonight. i hope I've made the right choice because our relationship has been on and off. i think the problem is that we don't support /respect each other and i feel like im bringing the kids up myself. he would go on holiday once a year/every 2 years to China. i have no say in how he spends his money because he worked for it. He used to compare me with his ex in China and reminded me how useless and ugly i am. he relized i was hurt but now and again he will let me know that no-one will want me,except him because im so ugly. but then he would add that looks to him isn't as important as personality. he always manages to make me feel insecure and bad about myself. he accussed me of sleeping with other men because im just tired and sometimes i don't want to make love to him. maybe this time it will be a clean break tor us. he already told my eldest son 10 that his dad won't be seeing him anymore but he bought them each an i-pad and my son is confused. my d1s just told me he can use facetime to keep in touch with his dad. i feel sad because i don't think he has ever loved me. his laid back attitude is that he will find someone as soon as we apart. but i feel our love has died long time ago. i just feel sorry for the kids and i reallyvhope I've made the right choice just for my happiness. am i been selfish?

OP posts:
RoxyDoxy · 01/01/2014 23:49

I don't really know what to say except

1 He says you're ugly and no-one will want you
2 He accuses you of sleeping with other men
3 He wants to make love although he thinks you're ugly - not a great chat up line

Not very logical - bet he's no oil painting

forgetandforgive · 02/01/2014 00:45

i think that's why our relationship broke up. i didn't find myself attracted to him anymore. im now 39 and i think life is too short. but rewind back 10 years. i was too naive to relise.

OP posts:
Deathwatchbeetle · 02/01/2014 09:17

What an eejit!
How noble to stay with you even though you are so ugly no other man will want you - and yet there you are sleeping with them obviously so that's why you are so tired and don't fancy it - not cos he is being a tiny prick!!!!!

You will be so much better off without him.

forgetandforgive · 02/01/2014 14:10

thanks for all your support. its now the 1st day we are officially separated. still staying strong and yes, i have made the right choice.

OP posts:
spindlyspindler · 02/01/2014 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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