DP is so tight

[clio51]

Hi

Just had words with DP he's such an worse sometimes!

Tea wasn't talked about, as I was filling in some important forms and he was just browsing net.
I then went to iron bedding I'd taken off and dryed earlier, son asked what was for tea chippy I said ask DP his answer I'm not driving all round
Looking for somewhere open I've just been all the way to mums(his mums) 26 miles away his choice!!

Then just says anyway you own me £4 that you haven't even mentioned and paid me (this was from yesterday)
Aghhhh
He owes me £150 for half of the laptop we bought and wait for it £200 from the balance of when I sold him my car when I bought a new one 4 yrs ago !!!!!!

I am fuming to say the least, the cheeky fucker how dare he.

So I made my own tea(childish I know) the got called for taking last tin of beans! And told me to fuck off so I shouted back you fuck off he said be careful what you wish for! Thinks he can threaten me.

So he's not talking or be in the same room as me such an arse

Ok rant over but still pissed of with £4 thing when he owes me so much and I've never ever asked for it aghhhh

Oh dear

Sorry posted to soon.
I am sure posters will give you fine advice about couple finances and housework share, but bottom line is: he is selfish and rude.

Did you point out that the amount you owe him is approximately 1% of the amount he owes you, and ask what he was planning to do about that?

Why are you arguing?

Just say calmly every time that you will deduct it from the current balance he owes you.

Your goal is to get that money back.

Petty, cheap, verbally abusive, argumentative.... is this one of those threads that finishes with 'but he's a great Dad'?

Oh tell him to fuck off - he sounds about 15.

He asked for 4 quid from the day before???

Childish.

There are so many red flags not sure where to begin.

What do you gain from this relationship?

Never thought about deducting from balance! But then I'm not like that asking for what somebody owes me!

No it's not one of those he's a great dad we don't have kids
He does seem childish,selfish and argue entice for a bloody 59 yr old

Maybe I'm more grown up then him !!

You don't have kids.
So why are you with him?
He already showed his true colours to you.
Don't you think you deserve something better?

So many wrongs :(

Does your son see this from you both a lot?

And you iron bedding?

If you dump him now it's unlikely you'll get your £346 back.

But Lordy, what's good about him?

You are allowed to be single you know. You don't have to put up with being with someone who is a nob.

Miserliness is one of the least attractive traits there is.

Yuk.

So what you want to do?you want to split up?

you don't have kids but you mentioned a son in your op??????

The language between the pair of you in front of a child is what worries me tbh. If your dh is 59, why can't he repay the couple of hundred he owes you?

I think it'd be worth the loss of £346 to be shot of him. Sounds like a complete git.

Has it always been this petty?

I agree- not fair for a child to witness.

I do have a son ! He's 25 (not a child) and hardly ever in!

When it comes to money he's always been petty he's one of them that you sort it out there and then.
Haven't really bothered to be honest about what he owes me till tonight when I was mad about the £4.
£200 from car is that long ago I just let it ride the £150 from laptop is only since Xmas
But I will be pursuing it mark my word

Apart from money he's great,how do we sort money issues out apart from if I owe him anything to make sure I pay there and then!!!

I'm not scared of being single, I been through a divorce to cheating git!
And managed to bring up a 4 year old mortgage a house and work for 13 years on my own

Just asking anybody with a tight dh or DP how they get through things like this.

The trouble is that someone who combines the qualities of tight with argumentative and pettiness whilst operating blatant double-standards (you have to pay him straight away) just isn't a nice person all round. If they're just careful with money you can deal with it by being businesslike and forceful. But if they are just mean-spirited, taking the piss and selfish, there's absolutely nothing to commend them.

I wouldn't live with someone who was like this, let alone get through it.

I'm posting fire kraken!!! For some insight
DIDNT THINK iT WAS RUBBISH!!!!!

But won't bother again well no you for sure

Just asking anybody with a tight dh or DP how they get through things like this

My exH was like this. He had as well many other 'nice' (not really) qualities.

My current H is the opposite end of the spectrum. Too generous. To the point where he is now forbidden to go Christmas shopping.

It is about personality. If you are generous with your money, you are also generous with your emotions, time, etc.

OTH tight fist people are selfish and they 'invest' their resources...if they don't get their profit they become ruthless.

But this is just my opinion and experience here.

It's not just tight though is it? Tight might be because he's a good saver, careful with his money, avoids debt, eye for a bargain etc. this man is selfish and quite happy to spend your money while refusing to put his hand in his pocket. That's not tight, it's very self serving.

Good posts from Cogito and Upcycled above. This double standard is not on. I like Laurie's suggestion of saying every time you will take it off the balance of his debt to you.

Who owns/rents the house you live in, out of interest?

Firekraken not sure what your point was but it certainly wasn't constructive or helpful.