Getting over a dead end relationship. Any tips or words of wisdom.

[Allofaflumble]

I stayed far far too long in a relationship that should have been over years ago, but I finally took the plunge and did it a few weeks before Christmas.

My ex. was in no way a bad guy, but I think he never had any intention of us either living together or marrying which I guess is something I would like to do one day. Remarry and get it right, but maybe that's just a dream. He got engaged to me but admitted it was to keep me sweet.

He wanted to stay friends until either of us met someone else but I am honest enough to think this would be painful for me. After so many years
of knowing him, even though I know it is the right thing to do, it is just starting to hit me. For the first two weeks I felt such a sense of relief but now I am feeling so many emotions. Anger, sadness, anxiety and loss. Loss of what was once a dream of a happy future.

I have had to cut all ties for my sanity and to be fair to him but would appreciate any shared experiences and how long you felt peculiar about it all for. Just wish I could have a good cry and let it all out but cannot seem to.

I'd recommend watching a sad film so you can cry. It is good to cry about nothing specific because you are grieving for lost potential rather than the demise of that actual relationship.

Then look to the new year, and getting out there in terms of broadening your horizons and living your life to maximise what you can get out of it.

Good luck.

Thank you Nagoo. I am hoping to sign up for an building your confidence course this January, assuming its not all booked up.

I think that cutting all ties is a good way to go, very honest of you.

Had a wibble last week and been single (except for very recent short OD experience) for 3 years, So I made a list of all the things I like about being single....

1. I get to eat what I want when I want
2. I don't have to share my bed
3. I get to choose what goes on the TV
4. NYE I could watch musicals and sing at the top of my voice and dance around the living room, without anyone laughing at me (but do pity my neighbours)

etc etc

It actually got quite long....... I surprised myself

Great list Kscience. :)

Actually snoring was a big problem in our relationship. He was a chronic snorer but fell asleep and stayed asleep very easily. I snore too and wake myself up so nights were hardly sweet. It used to take me ages to get to sleep when he was snoring and it would wake me up!

So yes.......sleeping alone is a good one.

Would love to know what a wibble is? I get OD of course....don't think I will be ready for that for a while!

Hi flumble, I was in similar shoes to yours a couple of years ago - ended a nice relationship because the guy simply wouldn't see a future with me in it, even though he was happy with the 'here and now'. He said he wanted to 'be friends' but that didn't work for me - I wanted more than friendship, dammit!! I cried at some point every day for a fortnight, at odd times here & there, grieving for 'lost potential' as PP said. Stay strong, you've done the right thing, there was a time before you and he were together and now is just -well - like that again, really.

Ended up with over 25 things..........

Wibble was running into ex after being NC for 3years.... I have just moved back to the area and him phoning me and pleading to try again. I ALMOST thought about it..... then gave myself a big slap, drank wine, hid phone and wrote the list

Thank you Walkacrossthesand. I am feeling thousands better already. So glad I posted.

Well done kscience. Luckily our paths are unlikely to cross but you never know?

I managed to have a few tears a while ago. Someone I am very fond of is having to drive across the country to tend to a sick father and the thought of them going through that penetrated the shell around my heart.