Hi,
I new on here but thought I'd jump in at the deep end! I apologise for the length but even if no one reads it'll make me feel better :)
To give you some background, I've been with my OH 4 1/2 years and I have a 14 YO DD and 10 YO DS, also have a SS of 19 (my OHs lad) who doesn't live with us. My 14 YO DD is having problems of her own and is self-harming she's been under CAMHS and is currently waiting an appointment for counselling, shes a straight A student and is struggling with the pressures of school and has recently come out as bisexual which she has had a lot of stick about from kids at school!
Things were 'ok' then in January last year I found some text messages to another woman, lots of sexual ones and going on over a month, I confonted him and he said it was a wrong number and guys at work egged him on etc, anyway long story short I tried to forgive and things were going ok.
Over the year he's been having a go at the kids, slowly but surely getting worse and worse.
I've had a bad year, the texts, my dad had a mini stroke, changes at work and how I've not cracked is beyond me!
The main problem I have, is that the things he kicks off at aren't even worthy of an argument. I mean surely its normal for a 10 yo not to want to tidy his room and a 14 yo to have an attitude problem now and then. They are both straight A students and i couldn't be more proud of them! I have tried saying you're the adult you need to know when enough is enough but he repeats everything goes on about the tiniest little things and says stupid things like I'll show them respect when show it me and it's like having another child!
Everyone relies on my for everything, he never cooks in fact on occasions when I haven't sorted out tea we just haven't eaten (kids eat at my parents on school days so doesnt affect them)
Anyway to fast forward months of me putting up with this shit I decided to end it, which is when he said he had nothing to live for anymore etc and left the house at 1am heard his car screech out of the street, so I rang and rang, text asking where he was etc, took me over 2.5 hours to talk him to come home. He's now on anti - depressants and has been for 9 weeks now.
At beginning of December he went to pick DD up from my mums which is a 10 min drive, he rang saying he didn't want to go out for the day as planed because of 'her attitude' I told him to stop shouting with DD Sat at side of him and 5 mins later they turn up, DD comes in sobbing, he shoots off in car again. We were meant to be going out for a nice meal whilst DD and my friend went to a concert and meeting them after, he dropped my friend off and left again, I went on train as planned with my DD and friend so as not to let DD down and after they left me I wandered around numb for a while (all the time OH was mesaaging me saying where he'd left the car etc and that he was done) I ended up calling my friend who is a PCSO and advised I rang police, I ended up at station till gone midnight, my house was searched, me and DD were offered hostel for night. (Really sorry about the length of this but my fingers have a mind of their own! )
I again went to end it after a while but for one reason or another didn't, things hadnt been too bad but just this past Monday he kicked off horrendously about 10 yo buying some deodrant when he hasn't used the last one he pestered for but has used all OHs.
I'm stuck worrying about kids, about where he'd go, about what he'll do to himself that I feel numb! I feel trapped and I feel used and unappreciated!
I just wish I could have a crystal ball and know if kicking him out was the right decision!
Apologies for bad grammar punctuation etc I'm on my mobile and this hasn't been easy! 