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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Financial advice for splitting needed.

3 replies

Nonamenonamenoname · 01/01/2014 14:11

I need to split up with my husband. He is extremely unstrustworthy financially. He is in serious debt. That in itself is a problem I think we could overcome. I have told him again and again that we can work this out if only he tells the truth about what his debts are and we can make a financial plan to sort them together.

The last time he promised to do this he swore blind that he had told me the true extent of his debts but I discovered about 10 minutes after making that promise that he was currently arranging yet another debt behind my back that he hadn't admitted to. He has about £50 a week taken out of his wages for not paying the council tax, £20 for CCJs and about £100 on various other debts. He took out a Wonga loan with no intention of paying it back in autumn. We have been together 14 years but cannot buy a house because of his financial status.

He says that it's my fault that we are in debt. I have had no new clothes for years, I go to softplay once a week, buy heat magazine weekly and try to buy healthy food. This apparently is why we are in debt. He sulks if the food bill is more than £40 a week. He drinks every day and smokes weed yet blames any financial problems on me. He has stiffed all his family when they've lent him money in the past. He also disappears for odd hours here and there. I have no proof but I think he may be sleeping with prostitutes. He promises he isn't but as I said earlier he will look you in the eye and lie, he has done about money.

Anyway, so I need to split up with him obviously, but I am unsure about how I can do this financially. We have a son who is nearly two. We live in a privately rented 3 bed house. I work 2.5 days a week. Currently I earn £10,000 a year and getabout £400 a month tax credits. That pays for childcare, the rent and council tax, I also have £80 a month debt to pay off which nils the child benefit, that leaves me and my baby with about a tenner a week to live on if things stay as they are financially if I kick him out. Our rent is £520 a month, council tax about £110 and childcare about £400. I'd like to stay where I am, I can't face going through the process of homelessness, I've done that before and it's awful.

What I need to know is if I kick him out what can I do financially? I'd like to stay at work but need to know if I will be entitled to more money or housing benefit? How would the bedroom tax affect me and how long would it take for a housing benefit claim to take effect? I am pretty much certain he would stiff any maintenance payments. Would I be better off out of work? I am doing an Open Uni degree and hope to qualify as a teacher in the next few years.

OP posts:
Lweji · 01/01/2014 14:28

If you are a lone parent, you get lower Council tax. Check their website for the room tax
You may also be able to get help from the Council with the private rent.
And he should pay child maintenance, go through CSA.
You could also look for a smaller private rental. A two bed flat or house.

You can contact CAB to work out benefits you can get.

And you should try a solicitor to deal with debts. As you are married you are jointly responsible for the debts.
But it would be better to divide them up now than if they get worse. Even if you don't divorce, you can separate and stop joint financial responsibilities.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/01/2014 14:33

I second the advice to talk to CAB and also a good solicitor. There's a good website in the meantime at www.turn2us.org.uk which has a benefits checker through which you can run some 'what ifs'.

Do you know if his debts are personal or do you suspect that he's used your name to get credit? Have you, for example, ever run a credit report with Experian or similar? That can be very revealing.

SweetPenelope · 01/01/2014 17:07

CAB has a good website - adviceguide.org.uk. advicenow.org.uk is also good.

Turn2us.org.uk is good on benefits/tax credits as is gov.UK

For the debts, you could call the Money Advice Service or National Debtline. You should be able to Google the numbers.

The CAB won't be open until Monday, but it would be a good idea to see an adviser. They may be able to refer you to a solicitor for free legal advice (usually just for one appointment, but it would be a start).

Good luck.

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