Made the wrong decision

[str8tothepoint]

As most have read I had an affair with a guy who had a gf for the past 16 months. I found out Boxing Day night just after nosing on a gay site to see him on there with 2 guys comments in last 2 months saying how good he is with a blowjob action next to them. He's only been registered on there since October but fuck I believed everything he told me. When I found out I rung the house told him he's got a lot to explain. Then next morning he messaged denying he'd been on there for a long time even though he'd signed on earlier in the week. Came back with he was having a breakdown nearly topped himself blah blah blah, so said you tell her everything or I will you have until Sunday. He begged me not to but told him at the start I find out he's lying or using me not only will I tell her everything but will never speak to you again. I sent her everything but did not get in sexual bitch fighting just what she deserved to know. She txt me following morning thanking me for the proof and that you know how much pain you caused me with me and him. I apologised for saying things to her and that I lied about everything because of him to protect him. She knew about it and was not shocked just cannot figure out why she carried on emailing me telling me to leave her family alone if she knew about the other guys plus still staying with him.Then his sister calls me then texts me to have a chat plus the gf wants all the proof I have to send it so that she can catch him out. I should not have done it the guilt of taking that away from him to do it at his time. She still emails and leaves voicemails to meet up but there's nothing left to say only the dirty ins and outs of what when and where?? He'll never speak to me again and I'm not here for any sympathy just needed to offload. He played me and everything he said has been a lie but he seriously really got into my soul which will take a long time if ever to move on. I emailed him last night apologising and hope one day we can clear the air but know that will never happen. Only last week I told him that he burned me only for him to say he gave up his chance of happiness with me for his daughter which now seems bullshit from the start. He loves cock and even when he told me how in love with me he is was lies. Just don't understand why someone would talk to you all day everyday for that amount of time then turn out to be a sex predator and not the person he made out to be. Never seeing him again hurts now but know he doesn't care about me so couldn't give a shit I was a toy even though he told me its far from the truth and allowed me and her to bicker for months which now appears to have been the distraction he wanted to go get cock

Man, that was hard to read Seriously tho, what an awful, embarrassing mess
Walk away from it all and move on.

Paragraphs please

It's ok cottonbuds no need to apologise x

He won't be back like I said he probably would pull the trigger or push me off the cliff now.

I didn't turn him gay, he is what e is before I came along. I didn't out him when his gf already knew from before.

OP: Happy New Year.
A New Year and a New Life for you.

My advice is:
Don't get involved with any one else for many months.
Take time on your own to grow strong.

Best wishes to you.

Crikey, that is quite a story! You are well out of this mess. I wish you luck in moving on and not looking back.

All I want to ask is that it's been 2 days now no emails or phone calls, there is a voicemail on my phone from her along with 2 emails from Sunday night asking when are we going to meet?? Yes I know they are going through a lot especially for him to have his sister call me but this is over now yes?? And why does she want me to send her all the proof I have to catch him out surely seeing what she seen should be enough?

ignore her emails & calls and block her number - you need to stop engaging with both of them. Draw a line & move on.

Yes I have ignored replying emails and got txt block app. Just wish I had given him the chance to explain to me. I'm sorry to all you on here that seen me go on and on but no more. Thank you for everything and sorry x

Really no more? Or 'no more for a few days and then another thread obsessing about this dysfunctional couple again'... ? :) I don't know what you do for a living but is there any way you can throw your energies into that? Or go travelling? Volunteer overseas? Seems to me that you need something constructive to 100% absorb your attention, keep you busy and prevent you from yet more over-thinking.

what could he possibly say to explain it all? He would only give you a pack of lies. And what does it matter what him or her say anyway?

I was on your last thread and in some ways I sympathise, but you won't leave them alone.

On your last thread you were very critical of this man's wife for staying with him - she is the victim here. You had the luxury of knowing what you were getting into.

I think he genuinely loves his DD and isn't playing the 'DC card' I would take the advice of every poster on here, and stop contacting them, stop trying to force his hand and find a partner that loves you.

Good grief - this, again?

You are starting to sound quite, quite mad.

Cogito I plan on selling my car and going away for a bit booking some time off work. There will be no more now I promise you that, he will not contact me again after what I done. Cogito you are an amazing person and I do thank you for everything.

I listened to the voicemail she sound very nice and wants to meet as need to talk about something. I will not meet her it is over.

I took it out on a innocent harmless woman because he made out to be horrible and nasty to protect a sexual predator so for that a apology will never be good enough.

There will be no more because he won't contract you?

Couldn't you say it's you who won't contact him? Take back control.

I won't contact him, he has probably changed his number, closed his emails off plus I put enough hurt and caused all this shit in the beginining. I apologise to everyone if I have come across selfish, drama queen and loving it all far from it. But hope one day she can forgive me and all of you on here can aswell, sorry x

why are you apologising to us? its up to you if you take the advice given I hope you do

No need to apologise to us str8. Take care of yourself. x

I don't think you 'love it all' but I do think you have become addicted to the pain and the drama of it all, and you are starting to behave very selfishly, and frankly, like a weird stalker.

I don't know how many more ways you can be told that this man, whether or not he stays with his partner and child, and whether or not he will continue to sleep with other men, does not want to be with you. Whatever he may have said in the past, he has changed his mind.

You scare him. He is not ready for the intensity of your emotions, and now you are behaving like the worst kind of nutjob bunny boiler. You promised on the last thread that you would not contact her, yet that is exactly what you've done. You were told on the last thread that you wouldn't be happy until you'd had your big dramatic moment with her, and you assured everyone that nothing was further from your mind. You lied.

He does not want you, no matter what you do, and especially if you try to force him into a corner by telling tales to her.

FFS, get a grip. Move on. Have some fucking dignity.

Mad you know nothing of the last year so please doing be horrible. Happy new year x

I know plenty, I have read all of your threads. I am not being horrible for the sake of being horrible, I am being cruel to be kind, based on everything you've said.

If you are not prepared to listen to strangers' opinions then it's best not to ask for them.

Sorry but I posted this thread to offload and help deal with my mental situation, not to bitch fight, not to gain sympathy and not to insult or receive insults. I have took on board peoples opinions on this thread but when your in the scenario and have feelings it's difficult to cut off.

And when you say I scare him, far from it, I was the one who kept on finishing it, HE was the one who kept on calling to not leave him. Yes he may have been sucking cock behind my back and yes I am wrong but being horrible when something this big has now happened is not the best response.

Maybe when your standing on the top of the cliff ready to jump or take all your months worth of diazepam hoping you won't wake up the next day then you can understand how fucked up I am and how I want this to go but it won't just disappear I have this guilt all my life, but thanks anyway.