Feeling so low and tearful

[PPaka]

Just want to cry
I think it's the thought of going home and facing the reality of him not moving out
I still haven't told my parents, I just can't face it
Mum is a bit fragile, they're going to be so upset
I can't face anything

Hi PP,

Can you give us some more info? Have you split with partner?

Is there a friend or family member you can talk to? Don't know the back story but from what you say getting organized is a good thing tito do whilst in limbo- finances benefits housing kids possessions etc.

Sending you strength and deep breaths

He's lied, cheated
He's just horrible

I'm at my parents for Xmas, he's supposed to be moving out

He won't go.
He's determined we're going to sort things out
I never want to see him again
He's delusional
Talking about coming here for nye, we'll have a nice dinner etc
New start for ny.
Why won't he understand ?

I was so strong and determined
Now I just feel like I'm trapped in some kind of hell

Joblot- I've spoken to solicitor, estate agent
There's not much for me to organise
He just needs to go

I sympathise. I had to live with my Ex while divorce went through :( It was hard and I totally understand the feeling of being trapped.

I spent most of my time in my bedroom (hence my name) but there will be a light at the end of the tunnel for you. Just keep going.

I think, when you're faced with someone who stubbornly doesn't want to take you seriously, you have to keep upping the ante. So repeat 'you have to move out'... and don't engage in conversation about anything else. Keep talking to your solicitor and get the divorce underway as a matter of priority. Glad you've talked to an estate agent. If you can't face being under the same roof, you don't have to go back home of course.

Your parents may already suspect something is wrong. I don't know the back story here but if he has played fast and loose with marriage vows then whatever tale he spins later on, this is not your fault. Parents want their DCs to be happy not struggle on with a sham of a marriage. If they have outdated beliefs that, no matter what, a bad H is better than no H, it is your life and you know you deserve better. If H is used to winning you round or bullying you into seeing things his way, of course you will feel unsure and anxious.

If you have DCs of your own remember you are not breaking up the family by ending this. He did that. So if he drags his feet and delays leaving, detach and ignore. The likelihood is he will fabricate his own version of events. You know the truth of it. Unburden yourself here and to a rl friend.

Very sorry, PPaka. Agree totally about the 'stuck record' refrain of "It's over, you have to move out" if you talk to him at all.

Carry on sorting yourself out and making your exit from your marriage. Gather your support from any sources you can and know that eventually, you'll be free of this man.

Thank you
It helps knowing some people understand
Unfortunately I do have to go back, parents are 300 miles away!
Managed to dissuade him from coming here, so that's good
Told him that I don't want to see him or talk, nothing has changed

Feeling much better today
He said he'd leave me alone and he has
Just had good chat with friend who has been through similar, so that was good
I was starting to feel guilty about keeping ds away for NY, but husband has decided to go out, so he'll be wasted and hungover tomorrow, so no point really

Happy New Year, PPaka - and it WILL be, it will be happier than last year.

How are you today?