why do I let my mum get to me so much?!

[Tommy]

I have spent the evening snaping at my DH and children because my mum has wound me up again.
I know I can't stop her being unreasonable, cantankerous and rude but I really need to know how to not let it get to me.
Makes me and
Any tips would be gratefully received - there's no point talking to her about how her behaviour makes me feel so I just need to know how to deal with it

Limit contact with her?
What does she say?

I see her once or twice a week. She is just very negative about things - critical of the way I bring up the DSs, my DH, what I wear, my friends etc. Most of it I can let wash over me and laugh about it later with my sister but every so often she winds me up so much that I get cross and then resent her.

There are several things you could do, which amount to rising above it

Like being consistently nice to her. And feeling sorry for her - think of her as a child, for example

I think we all need a bit more background here if you don't mind

Once or twice a week is too much. You also need to try to detach. She can only get to you if you care about what she says.

ah - sorry about that
basically she is not a happy person which would be fine if it was just on its own. She is a bit of a minor local celebrity in our town so people are always asking after her and saying "your mum is amazing" blah blah blah when she is actually very hard work and demanding to her family (esp my sister and me - our other siblings don't live locally).
I suppose it's lots of things - historical and current - but every so often it really winds me up

Local celebrity status - when people say "Isn't she amazing" I would say "yes and so is * * (think of a well-known person who is popular but clearly would be a nightmare) but you haven't had to live with her" - in a playful but meaningful way

And the rest of the time to a certain extent think of her as a spoilt child

thank you Roxydoxy