Husbands ex friend keeps contacting me

[FrozenPandaPops]

Bit of background.
DH knew this guy (will call him M) at school and they kept in sporadic contact over the years but DH distanced himself a few years ago because he lies a lot and stole something from DH (he denied it but it definitely happened). Plus they just have nothing in common apart from going to the same school! DH hasn't seen him at all for over two years and has ignored occasional texts asking to meet up. I have M on Facebook as he added me ?ears ago but we never interacted. I deleted him once because he isn't actually my friend but he requested again and I accepted. I've only actually met him once when I first started seeing DH years ago.
Anyway, as DH has been ignoring him he has started sending me messages instead, asking for DH phone number as well as just general chatty messages. DH kept telling me to ignore but I would feel mean doing that so replied that I would pass on to DH. Also I don't think it's down to me but DH is refusing to talk to him! This has been happening on and off for the last year.

I had a baby 5 months ago and since then M has been messaging me loads saying he has a present for my dd and when can he come over. I thanked him but really don't want to see him because a) he is barely an acquaintance and b) he's a bit creepy. He has sent me lots of messages since then and I have ignored most of them. And after getting 3 on Boxing Day and DH still refusing to get involved, I blocked him on fb. Hoped that would be the end of it but I've just had a message from a mutual friend saying M has lost all my numbers (he never had them to begin with!) and needs to contact me and can I message him.

I know I probably should have been straight with him but I felt bad because he clearly wasn't getting the hint. I feel a bit freaked out after the message from my friend and not sure whether to ignore or tell M to leave us alone. I'm actually really annoyed with DH for putting me in an awkward position, he keeps saying it's my own fault for being too nice.
What would you do?

Thanks, I think I will have to. I know I shouldn't have accepted him on fb again but I really didn't expect it to be an issue tbh!

I feel like an idiot posting this but need some perspective I think. I'm not very good at being direct (clearly!!)

I know I shouldn't have accepted him on fb again but I really didn't expect it to be an issue tbh!

And THIS is why you're in this mess. Your DH has cut off a friend of his, why the hell did you accept him as a friend on facebook????

You've done this to yourself.

Contact your friend and thank them for NOT passing on your contact details, and tell them that you don't wish to be in contact with him. End of story. You don't need to give details as to the whys and wherefores.

Stop being so damn polite.

Why on earth would you accept a friends request from an ex friend of your DHs who stole from him?

I know you know this was a mistake, but seriously?

If my DP was fb friends with someone I'd cut off, Id be pissed off.

Tell the mutual friend not to pass on any numbers etc and ignore.

It's M who put you in this position, not DH; he did try to tell you that ignoring was the best policy and has been proved right by events.

I don't understand Facebook anyway (other than having a vague conviction it's the work of the Devil) but I don't get why you accepted him as a friend when you knew your DH had cut him out. Or, if you accepted first and the cutting out happened later, that you didn't follow DH's lead and delete again. Anyway, he's blocked now, and you don't owe him an explanation. I would guess he does get the hint, but simply chooses to ignore it.

Your dh didnt put you in an awkward situation.

You've done this.

Cease all contact and continue to ignore.

FFS - delete and block.

And you put yourself in the position, not your DH

This must be a first for Relationships. It's unanimous (so far): the husband is innocent!

You put yourself in an awkward position

If I was your DH i would be pretty pissed off at you and telling you that it served you right, tbh

I would help you extricate yourself though, if you were at the point of feeling frightened, as you seem to be

This is why you should only have people that you actually know as friends on fb. Don't see the point in having strangers, never mind ones that you don't even bother talking to.. Feel sorry for your dh tbph, he stopped contact with a friend because the friend stole from him, and his wife not only shows her loyalty but constantly keeps going on about the ex mate.

Your DH hasn't put you in any situation - you have failed to stand by him when someone stole from him and he cut them out! I'm sorry, but why was your loyalty to your own husband not the priority here? Some creepy guy stole from him and you didn't want to be rude in refusing a Facebook request? Seriously?

Tell the mutual friend you only met the guy once, he's fallen out with your H, yet he keeps pestering you and so you blocked and deleted - turning to 3rd parties for your contact details in that situation is downright stalkery in my book. Get rid.

Unanimous OP. Hope it's clear!

where is op, btw ?

This M character sounds creepy. Delete him on FB immediately - if he doesn't have your numbers then he can't contact you any other way. If he sends more messages via mutual friends simply ignore them. He'll get the hint eventually. And be more careful who you add on FB in future.

he sounds a bit stalkerish
block the friend as well and anyone else who may send you messages.

Sorry life got in the way yesterday! I do realise I've been a complete idiot but just to clarify the deleting/adding on fb happened a few years ago while my DH was still seeing him on and off. I don't use fb much and never gave it another thought until he started messaging me. Like I said, we never interacted so I forgot he was still there. I know I'm too polite for my own good and should have just deleted when the messages started. But yes will be much more careful in future!

I know DH isn't really to blame but I needed that pointing out yesterday so thanks! I was really freaked out after the message from my friend yesterday when I posted this and took it out on DH for not being straight with M and ignoring him, not cool I know. I've been ignored by someone I thought was a friend before and I think it touched a nerve and I felt like M deserved an explanation just because he seemed so oblivious, but I realise it's not up to me and DH was right. I've apologised to him for behaving like a twat.

He is still blocked so hopefully that will be an end to it.

So yes, thanks for talking some sense into me, I needed it!!

Good outcome