Is it all about the butterflies?

[Back2Basics]

Would you date someone who you didn't have butterflies with but had an amazin connection and really got?

I have read before butterflies are your body's flight or fight response to danger and are not to do with fancying someone.

I'm wondering if butterflies don't equal a happy healthy relationship and you don't end up being yourself as the butterflies are just to much?

Do slow burners work out? What does everyone else think?

Aren't butterflies just nerves?! Or a dodgy stomach because you're all excited?!

Yes of course slow burners are good, especially if you already have a connection. What else do you like about him?

By butterflies do you mean physical attraction? Sometimes it can be a slow burner for example my last relationship. . Friends initially, no physical attraction on my part but yes we got each other etc etc. 6 months down the line I thought wow I really fancy you and we progressed to a romantic relationship. The relationships I had where it was lust at first sight didn't last and sometimes ended badly.
However I also went out with men who I didn't really have any attraction to but they were 'nice' and I told myself that physical attraction wasn't the be all and end all. Sadly these led to me rejecting them physically and hurting them in the process. In future I will take it slowly and see what happens.

We have loads in common but not just superficial things but views on life to. Can't stop chatting have had a couple of really lovely dates and I have felt so comfortable with him. I like him but he's not my type and I'm not lusting as such over him with a belly of butterflies. It's not that I don't fancy him Its more I'm not in a rush to tear off his clothes

I am just going to take it slow and see what happens, he is rather lovely and I know my friends and family would like him.

home I've done that as well before and end up feeling so awful that he's so nice but I can't sleep with him because it's just not there.

I haven't done anything more then hug this man and a peck on the lips after our date last night. He's not pushy which is good. Oh we did hold hands for a while that was nice

I think you need to look at the 'whole' of him as well as just his initial looks and appearance. I like the way my guy has a passion for life, he goes to places, he likes music, he enjoys seeing new places. I also think my friends & family would like him & that's attractive. I like the way he has a close group of friends and he helps them out, he seems to enjoy playing with their kids, he seems an overall 'very nice guy'

All this makes him even more appealing to me. I guess it's a basic survival thing. I'm subconsciously checking out whether he'd be good with my own family if things were to progress further.

Just take it slow and keep your guard up. I think after 6 months or so you'll know whether he's a grower and a keeper. If you still don't feel something good by then you can move on.

Ah well op thats a good sign if you do fancy him as roller says take it slow. . Sometimes it does just hit you. There are 2 people in my past including my recent ex who really weren't my 'type' and we started out as friends and then the physical attraction developed and with it came the 'butterflies'
good luck I have a good feeling about this.
And as you have said you have done the 'nice' boyfriend thing before so I am sure you will be wary about doing it again. I certainly won't

Oh I like the idea of six months and then see. It gives you a chance to see if all the good things they say match up before getting invested.

Anyone can say the right things!

And yes I think it might develop more attraction wise, I like the whole package so far and can see him fitting in with my friends and family if we progress. It's so nice to chat away with someone when you have so much in common to talk about!

Yes anyone can say the right things at first, we're all trying to show ourselves in the best light. Someone here told me to try and do some 'normal' day to day things together rather than just all meals, pubs, date type stuff. So go to the supermarket together, maybe stay together for a few days and see how things like cooking, washing are. It'll give you a bigger picture of how he is.

I was also advised not to do all that 'oh yes I agree' stuff. You probably do agree on a lot of things as you have lots in common but perhaps a little disagreement might show you more about him too? My ex was always so quick to shoot me down if he didn't agree with something I said. He made me feel like shit.

Just keep your wits about you and don't just see the things you like and ignore the bad bits. Notice everything about him and absorb.