Finding DP being away very very hard....

[DixieGoesToHollywood]

I've been with my wonderful DP for 18 months, throughout which she's been posted with the military in Eastern Europe, and only managing to get home about every two months for one week. Sometimes she gets longer postings in other countries which means she can be away for 4 months at a time with limited contact via phone etc.

She cannot leave her posting for another two and a half years, after that she will hopefully move to a place which will allow me to see her at least every weekend. In the future after that (5 years +) she should be able to live with me full time!

We speak on the phone every day, send eachother little gifts and generally have a wonderful relationship, but it really is so hard.

I'm pretty damn sure this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it is so, so hard when all I want is to see her face and hug her and I really don't know if I can spend another 2 and a half years like this.

Anyone??

Did you know all this before you got together? How old are you both? It's hard but it's the kind of job that's also a life choice, does she want to give up what she does now in the future?

After 18 months of a long distance relationship I think it's difficult to assume you can make plans for five years time, unless you knew each other well before you got together

We are both mid-late 20s and yes I knew this before we were together, I just didn't think it would be this hard!

She is looking to leave in about 6 years but that's still a long time!

I was in my forties and met a chap in the Army. He had 8 years left when I met him, we lasted 3.

I found the separation very very difficult indeed, the thought of spending another 5 years the way I had spent the last 3 was just a bridge too far for me. It can be done, and people do do it, clearly I couldn't.

For 2+ years I was with someone whose job took him out of the country for 2 months at a time, and home for 3.5 weeks. I'm really independent but found the goodbyes tricky. But the worst part was not realising his absences meant we lived in an artificial honeymoon phase, thought we loved each other, bought a house together (if only I could put the clock back and not have done it ), spent more time together before quickly realising we were a terrible match. This has since caused a lot of misery, so I think it's worth being aware that 18 months "together" isn't like her being home and seeing her in the flesh regularly.

Hi Dixie! Just seen your thread (mine was pulled ).

Tis shockingly quiet in here?! The vipers are re-charging...

Anyhoo

I really feel for you and your situation ...it is absolutely shit.

But there is hope for the future like you said and if she is The One... Then it's deff worth holding on to