Enough is enough! Onwards! 2014!

[WttyUsername]

(Thought my username was very clever until I realised I'd left the I out of it...)

ANYWAY. Posting here because my relationship with myself is broken and needs fixing and oh god so self-helpy but it's true. I need to make loads of lifestyle changes and have been trying half-heartedly for years but they never stick. And I'm frightened that I'm going to end up old and withered and even more full of self-loathing than I currently am if I don't do something soon.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of things I need to do (deep breath):

1. Stop drinking and smoking
2. Start cooking properly and eating healthily and stop gorging on takeaways and endless piles of toast and pasta.
3. Exercise. Even a little bit. I can barely walk up my street without feeling breathless and dizzy.
4. Sort out my finances and my flat
5. Take time to do the things I enjoy rather than stewing in an anxious, guilty, regretful, lethargic heap all the time.

If anyone has any advice on trying to make sweeping changes to bad habits and practice self care I'm all ears...and if anyone else wants to use this thread to chart New Year's resolutions etc that would be brilliant - I'm going for public accountability here (don't want to talk to RL friends etc because they've heard it all before...).

Well done you! I gave up smoking 20 years ago this year. IT CAN BE DONE!

Suggestions...

Make small changes, like walking to work, or to the next bus stop, or whatever, which you can build into your routine.

Identify your weak points and try to make a plan to avoid triggering a 'craving' - eg if you like a drink and a cigarette in the evening while watching telly, stop watching telly. Use that time to cook yourself something healthy for the next day, or go to the cinema, or have a bath, or clean out a cupboard.

Savour how it feels when you start to notice the difference.

Stay away from people who are likely to derail you.

Every year it was that very list of resolutions!
Every bloody year! Year in year out!

As soon as I packed in the drink the rest just fell into place. I swear!

Packed in the fags shortly afterwards, started jogging, stopped slacking at work/ started getting creative at work / got promoted at work, lost tonnes of weight without even dieting, treated myself with respect, landed a cracker of a fella and stopped biting my nails!

I wish you all the very best!

X

DeckSwabber - 20 years! I want to be able to say that. Have got myself an ecig (inspired by the epic thread on them on here, I should say) and have used it off and on alongside the real ones for the last few weeks. Have used patches in the past but it only lasted a month or so. So sick of the cost and the stench of them. Definitely going to try walking to work - it's only 25 minutes. Thank you.

Pinkynperky - can't tell you how heartening this is to read! If I can stop biting my nails as well that'll be the cherry on the cake!

I am so ashamed of myself for the things that I've done while drinking. I'm in my early 30s and in the last 18 months I've wet the bed twice because I was so bladdered. Not to mention getting to work late, being so hungover that the only thing that could 'fix' it was more booze, being sick, having fights with my partner, etc etc. So grim and so pointless.

Well done for being so honest Wtty!
There are loads of people out there who want/ need to quit/ cut down but can't admit it they need advice on how to do it- besides which it's all relative.... I wasn't caning it per say BUT what I was putting away was holding me back ENORMOUSLY ( and would probably have killed a smaller/ thinner woman)..

As it happened , my sister was trying to save her marriage at the same time (her Husband had slipped into a permanently sozzled mid life crisis) I was waking up to the fact that I wanted to make big changes. She discovered some blogs about drinking and they worked on him a treat! So I adopted them for myself ET voila! My world has opened up like a beautiful flower. Result!

So my advice to you is to google 'Mrs. D is going without' and take it from there! You may find its the key to your Wonderful New Year!

Way hey!!!

You go Girl!

I always bang on about this but if you have a smart phone, you need to get the "quit now" app. It's free and adds up each day how many fags you haven't smoked, how much money you have saved and marks off the health benefits. It is scary how fast these rack up. I quit with this alone two years ago and if I get tempted now I open the app and look at what I have achieved.

Liking this Where!

Chars!

Hi pinky

Sorry to hear your having such a crap time, all of what you wrote sounds like self medicating perhaps to try and block out more deeply felt issues. Everything points to you having a series of reactions, so I wonder if you can sit down and write out a list of things that can be seen as pro active ie simple things that can be done right now without too much over thinking?

If you try and deal with everything in one go you are setting yourself up for failure and the problem seems insurmountable.
Breaking everything down in to bite size chunks will you a clearer picture, be less over whelming and be more manageable overall.

In the meantime please go to your gp and look in to some counselling for yourself you don't need to do all this on your own.

I think you're trying to do a lot in one go to be honest, and there's a risk it'll end in total failure or a nervous breakdown!

Try to take baby steps. You could probably tackle drinking and smoking together, since they tend to go hand in hand, so maybe target a drink-free and e-cig only January. A corollary of that may be that you'll have a much fresher head and more energy so you could start to walk to work and also use your evenings to deal with paperwork and flat.

Then maybe in Feb you could either drop the e-cigs or alternatively start to deal with your eating (and you'll probably be less predisposed to junk if you're not hungover so much). All of the things you want to change are interconnected, but I think you need more of a focus than changing everything or you will just become overwhelmed.

I agree it sounds like a lot of stuff to tackle in one go gut I think a lot of the items on the list are linked, eg giving up takeaways and smoking will help with the finances etc.

Keeping a diary may help. Identify some goals and track your progress. Set achievable targets, like walking to work three times a week.

I worked out the other day that if I walk into work every day and stop drinking and smoking I'll save nearly £300 a month, which is pretty horrifying. Or, being more positive about it, excellent incentive to make the changes!

I'm always entirely skint the week before payday and never go away anywhere or do fun stuff that costs money and it's all entirely self-inflicted because I'm spending it all on booze and fags.

TreaterAnita, I think you're right that it seems like a lot (and that was only the 'headlines' list - could have added much, much more!) and that breaking it down is the way to go - and the drinking and the smoking have to be the first. They're also going to be the hardest, though.

pinky - I had a read of that blog and some other sobriety blogs last night, really inspiring stuff.

Thanks very much for all the replies - am going to use this thread to track my progress. hope you'll stick with me!