what/where first?

[candybarfallingstar]

I have finally decided dh and I need to part, mainly so the children are saved from our rows.

I don't know what to do first - have 2 dcs of 4 and 2. From past discussions I know dh will not leave the marital home, even temporarily. Frankly, if I have the kids with me, he can keep it.

I am a sahm, little access to money right now. He's intimated in the past he wd want custody of the kids on grounds of my ongoing depression (I'm fully engaged with available treatment). He works long hours in the city.

What do I do first? My own parents are in another country and dh is back at school in jan. I have no friends here with room for all of us.

There has been violence in the past.

See a solicitor.

Fee wise, cd they set up an account then, to be settled at a later date - ie when money was sorted?

I think most would. Make appointments with a few to see what their approach would be.

Discuss the violence with them when appropriate, so they know what they're potentially dealing with.

when I engaged a solicitor they wanted money on account up front - usually £1000 a time, and when it ran out they'd ask me for more.

You can shop around for solicitors who might offer what you need though.

Potentially you could phone Woman's Aid and if you feel unsafe at any time please do.

Our local council will help with rent deposit scheme and for a year with housing benefit if your partner refuses to move out - that then gives you time to force the sale of property/get them out the marital home.