How do I deal with a rambling mother?

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My mum drives me mad for many reasons. One thing that really gets to me is that she rambles on and on and on. She will start a conversation and go into every little detail, whys and wherefores, etc. For example she might tell me that she bought flour from a supermarket like this - "I went to Tesco to get some flour. Well it was Tuesday and I wanted to make a cake for Flo. Flo was friends with Mavis and Mavis was ill and I knew she was worried. Flo worries an awful lot and last week she phoned me and said "blah blah blah" and I said "blah blah" so that's how she is. So I got on the bus and I didn't have the right change but the bus driver found some and then I sat down next to a man who was very chatty. He said that they are opening a new supermarket in Newtown, so when I got off the bus...ramble, ramble, ramble....That Tesco is very big you know - I can't find anything. Well, after all that I found the right aisle and.........I bought the flour."

She rambles so much that sometimes she doesn't even finish the story. She turns it into another one and I find it really difficult to follow what she is on about. She even tells me stories that other people have told her - just repeating conversations that I have no interest in.

It drives me mad! I want to ask her to leave all the irrelevant details out and get to the point.

I know I am being mean but I just don't have the patience. Does anyone else have a relative like this?

By the way, she has no memory problems and is fit and well in all other respects.

We call it Repetition Disorder when she repeats herself over and over. I recall a similar thread on here once where one of the PP' s DM or DMIL repeated the same old stories so much that they nicknamed her Tales of the Expected. That is my Mum. I do love her though, she is the best Mum in the world to me.

Yes my mum does this; rambles on and on and on. She tells the same stories over and over again and never listens to anyone else. I try and be patient after all she may not be around much longer but I can fell myself getting more and more irritated.
No answers but you do have my sympathy.

When you were a small child you probably babbled on endlessly too, it's payback
Try not to be too irritated, she won't be alive forever and you'll look back on these stories and miss them.

She's like my MIL. I was the only one who paid any attention to her. Her H and her DSs didn't even pay attention most of the time.

She'd tell her whole life and her sons' to strangers at gatherings.

Maybe you could steer the conversation to the point of the story? And don't be afraid to interrupt her.

You can try a distraction technique - interrupt the flow of talking by asking 'what type of cake', or something that is designed to bring it back to the point. It can help.... a bit.

Actually, I should say ex-MIL, another advantage of not being with her son anymore.

My mum does this. When we visit and I want to go to bed I just stand up and say goodnight and walk out the room. Dh tries to be polite and let her finish. He has been known to be stuck there, half out his seat and yawning, for an hour and a half!

The funny thing about this is that we recognise the type, but they are rarely depicted on TV or movies, because it is hard to convey the sheer ongoing flow of verbiage. Some folk can talk for the time it takes to watch Dr Zhivago or The Sound of Music. Hours. But it would always be cut short in a drama because it has to move on. I think Philomena is the only one that shows it, as Judi Dench's character blathers on to Steve Coogan. Also, 40 Year Old Virgin as he describes making an egg sandwich.

I personally, has a Mother that rambles on everything and anything. I always just want to have a normal conversation, but she keeps on rambling that I do nothing and I’m selfish. I always try to be the best child I can be, but she always thinks I don’t care. When I do get her nice things too, she usually doesn’t even accept them & throws it out or something.

It can be can monologuing
www.theneurotypical.com/conversation-with-an-adult-with-hfa.html

My mil, who is lovely, asked me the other day what I would like for Christmas. She had just popped around for 2 minutes on her way to town. I couldn't think of a single thing so just mentioned a fancy/expensive type of tights that you can get from M&S. An hour and a half later I had learnt about what every one of her friends wore on their legs from the 1960's to the present day. She then ended the conversation declaring that it was too late to go shopping now and made her way home. I wouldn't change her for the World.

Ha this makes me smile. The other day, my mum treated me to an hour long monologue about the accommodation on a trip to Florida 45 years ago. The detail of the chalets was exquisitely rendered.

Do we have the same mother? Mine is EXACTLY like that and it drives me nuts. Every last detail about somebody or something I have no interest in. She goes off on so many side tangents that she forgets why she was telling me something. I have tried and failed to stop her doing it, every time I try, that little snippet is apparently crucial to whatever she is telling me. I zone out now. My brother has zoned her out for years. I don't see her very often either because it absolutely does my head in. You have my sympathy

@Myyearmytime that article describes my mum to a T (I do suspect undiagnosed HFA).
It drives us all mad. We love her because she's our mum, but her company is an ordeal. If you're one to one, she demands not just your full attention but eye contact throughout. For hours. As an introvert, this drains the life out of me.

She dominates every gathering or dinner with what can only be described as drivel. But I know she can't help it, so I try to just be realistic about it, accept her for who she is, and see her regularly but not too often. She doesn't have any friends, so it does come down to us to be her company.

Calling is more successful, as I can put her on loudspeaker and do some chores, cooking, cleaning etc.

My DM is 83, lives alone in sheltered accommodation and does this.
I think it’s because she has nothing else (substantial) in her life. No work, no partner, DC’s living elsewhere and busy with their own lives - so what else has she got to talk about?
I just half listen when she’s telling me some long winded boring story about people I don’t know, throwing in the odd yes and no. I try and head her off when I can but it is difficult. All she wants is someone to yap (at) to.
I think it’s just a sad part of life as we get older.

Are you my SIL? You've just described my MIL.

Our tactic is to rotate the audience. We have discovered she doesn't really mind if she begins a ramble with one set of listeners and continues it with another. The lack of continuity does not bother her. She just likes talking.

So we kind of come and go from the room where she is holding court.

I have been so desperate at times that I fake an urgent text. She is not tecchy enough to realise. She doesn't mind, in extremis, being left on her own (at which point I can only presume that the rambling stops until she can find another listener).

My mum does this but I get half the stories twice and the other half she thinks she has told me but hasn't.

"I went to Bob's funeral yesterday."
"I didn't know Bob died!"
"Yes you did, I told you!"

Narrator: She had not, in fact, told her daughter that Bob died. She had told her best friend C. Twice.

@Lemond1fficult
Phone calls are much easier
I always give my sister a hour she is learning to control herself a bit .
My mum is is not too bad but i have switch off when she start on about wonderful sister ( a different one)

I'm howling!! This thread is like an Alan Bennett appreciation society 😁

My mother in law does this, god bless her it’s very, very hard to have an actual conversation because she gets offended if you interrupt! It’s a nervous thing for her and she’s a lovely woman, though, so I just tune out or suddenly become busy with DC if it’s getting too much.
I also have a male relative who does this who I suspect has undiagnosed Asperger’s syndrome (I know this diagnosis isn’t used any more but he fits it to a T). He will talk AT people about his interests for hours. He’s also the kindest, most well-meaning, enthusiastic bloke you could meet, so he’s very popular and has loads of friends who accept his quirks. But he's hard work if you’re stuck next to him at the dinner table!

This could be my Mum. On and on she goes and sometimes she tries to get you involved by asking random questions which you can't possibly answer as you weren't there. In my head I'm saying FYI Mum no I don't remember Mary who I met once when I was three even though you've told me which road she lives on because I'm now forty fucking two and this story which you are telling me started over two hours ago and we have still not reached the point.

It's known as being a fact vacuum in our family