Ex husband has died

[Movingout]

I've also put this in bereavement.
Two years ago I posted this www.mumsnet.com/Talk/divorce_separation/1367499-I-am-desperate-for-help-and-advise on mumsnet and received lots of support and good advice. I left him, moved into my own place and revelled in my new found freedom. If I'm honest, I never for one second mourned the loss of my marriage. Fast forward 2 years and he has been found dead, very unexpectedly. He was the father of my children and understandably they are shocked and sad, and still have lots of unresolved issues.

I feel completely floored and have no idea how I should be feeling or how I should deal with this. The anger I have felt for him genuinely disappeared as soon as I heard of his death (I think). I am so confused, has anybody else ever been in this situation?

I have no experience of this situation, but do have an XH.

I can well imagine that hearing this news has shocked you, and changed/confused your feelings about him, at least for the time being. Only natural.

Take care of yourself.

My XP almost died this summer and even that stirred up so many conflicting emotions that I did not know where my head was for some weeks after the crisis was over.

Be kind to yourself and your DC and don't be afraid to seek counselling if you feel you need it.

this might link

OP I would be shocked and grieving and probably confused. It's ok to feel that way. Find a friend who understands and off load to them

No experience of this, but if I heard such news of my XH I would be very upset and my emotions would be all over the place.

You are in shock and also processing the information with regards to the effect on your children. I think they need now to talk through their unresolved issues with a bereavement counsellor.

It is very sad, and you can now grieve for the man you once knew, knowing a chapter has ended.
Take care of each other X

The anger may return. Anger that he behaved as he did in your marriage and anger that his lifestyle has contributed to his death possibly? And the effect on your families lives.

I'd say you're in shock quite rightly. Just give yourself time. Be there for your kids. All you can do.

Sad. I'm sorry x

My ExH died in a car crash a week after our divorce was final, less than a year after we'd separated.

I was strangely calm at first and then had a period of deep grief, it was very hard to come to terms with. We had no DCs but having spent all that time together it's such a shock.

I was very up and down for a long time about it, also I was treated as the grieving widow by some of his friends and didn't know how to respond to that.

It's very natural to grieve for someone you were once in love with, even if the love had gone.

Sorry for the loss for you and your DCs.

My exh died in Feb 9 yrs after our divorce he was an alcoholic but died suddenly.

It is a shock I grieved the man I once loved who gave me 3 beautiful DC they will never see the "real" him they will only have memories of the man he became through his addiction and that makes me sad.

I have posted on here before I have been with DP for 3.5yrs and I do love him but will never love again like I loved exh.

It is very strange grieving for someone you have already probably mourned when you marriage broke down. But there is no right and wrongs I think it is the final confirmation that you will NEVER see the man you loved again.

He would have been so fking proud of his kids if he had been able to step back and see the bigger picture.

It is a painful road and quite lonely and people expect you to have "moved on" I wish you all the best