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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Upping sticks - feeling wobbly and bit put on - boring alert.

4 replies

niceglasses · 21/07/2006 21:32

Sorry folks seem to be going on about this, but making me feel a bit wobbly & making for many a narky row btwn me & dh.

Basically, my dh has new job lined up in Manchester. We live in Newcastle currently. He wouldn't be going till after Christmas and then we (me and our 3 kids) wouldn't go till even later.

I'm struggling with why we are doning this and what we are gaining. In fact, all I can see are negatives. Money wise, its a bit more, but I think that will be more or less cancelled by higher property prices. I can only think its a career move for my dh- well it is - bigger company, more responsibility. He is not entirely happy where he is.

But I am dreading it. With 3 kids, only one at schl, and knowing no one down there (well one person). I was down there for a yr after birth of my 1st and hated it (but had PND). I don't want to hold him back, but I can't see what I & the kids gain here. I reckon we would have smaller house and much much less support. Am I being a selfish bag? Am I meant to sacrifice it all for his career? Just some views would be good.

Its not helped by the weather being great and being so near the sea.......I keep thinking why the f* are we moving????

OP posts:
TooTicky · 21/07/2006 21:38

OMG. If you don't like it can you go back or is it a long-term decision? I'm not sure I could leave the sea (if I lived near it!) - especially for somewhere like Manchester. I think it's really important to be sure before you go - if you went unwillingly and then hated it, it could lead to a lot of bitterness.

niceglasses · 21/07/2006 21:45

Well, I guess I could come back but his job would be gone. I suppose the other option is for me and kids to stay up here and just see him at weekends, but again I ask myself why we are doing this??

OP posts:
TooTicky · 21/07/2006 21:49

Oh, decisions are so difficult, especially big ones. I'm terrible at them. I suppose you have to think about what is most important to you. Writing it down might help, or talking it through with a neutral party.

niceglasses · 21/07/2006 21:54

Yep, we have to decide ourselves, just wondered if anyone had maybe done something similar. Am pretty sure we will end up going and will have to be positive for the kids...........thanks TT.

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