Am I being over sensitive ?

[ohcluttergotme]

Been friends with a girl on and off since I was 7, we're now 35. There are 4 of us who went to primary and high school and we meet up a few times a year. These 3 girls were bridesmaids at my wedding.
I met them last Saturday for a Christmas lunch and told them I was 15 weeks pregnant.

One friend was downright rude, bordering on nasty (I felt). Said me & my dh are always struggling for money, can't manage the behaviour of the child we have, will be parenting forever. My dsil is 8 months and she said "poor dsil, she's not getting a chance to be only one pregnant" My dsil was so happy for me and dh.

I feel like I want to completely cut her out of my life but don't know if I'm being over sensitive and maybe I'm misjudging due to hormones?

What do you think? Thanks

Do you think she might be a bit jealous?
I think you should put what she said out of your mind, because it's nonsense, and just ignore her for a bit. Maybe she'll get over herself, and maybe she'll carry on being horrible - in which case, I think you or one of your other friends should call her on it.
I guess she said this in front of your other friends? What did they think?

And congratulations to you!

First thing to remember when announcing baby news is not everyone will be happy about it. She probably has issues around babies that you don't know about - perhaps difficulty conceiving, miscarriage, any number of things. Cut her some slack, she may be coming across as a bitch but I'd put money on there being something she is struggling with.

Thanks Callami, my other 2 friends were there and one said she wasn't surprised as knew me and dh had been trying and other said she wasn't expecting me to say but was happy for us.
My friend who I'm upset about has a way of always being very outspoken and likes to be centre of attention so think the other 2 were used to how she can be.
I was speaking to my 2 dsil's yesterday and they both said maybe she's jealous but I just don't know as she's always said she doesn't want more kids (she has one 11 year old dd)
She is one of 5 though and loves her family.

Thanks worsester, you may be right. She had post natal depression with her dd and will openly say she found it hard to love her as a baby. Her long term partner as been open about the fact he would like them to have another so maybe all these factors have come into play here.
Guess I was quite taken aback and hurt by her reaction

People have different attitudes towards babies/TTC/pregnancy though.

Some people do genuinely think it's rude for someone to become pregnant when another close family member is already pregnant. I've come across a couple.

Some people have children with their heads and others with their hearts.

Are you struggling for money? Do you find it difficult to manage the children you already have? Perhaps she's just projecting her own feelings on to you (which she shouldn't be doing) and that's how she'd feel in your circumstances.

To be honest, if someone always appeared to be struggling for money and appeared to find it difficult with the children they already had, I'd wonder why they were having another. I wouldn't be so rude as to say so though!

Thanks folkgirl, we have had money worries that she does know about. We bought our house before the market crashed in 2008 so have a high mortgage. She rents her property and goes on fabulous holidays every year. She says she doesn't understand why anyone would buy a home to be skint when they can rent a council property an have money. I do sometimes wonder this but love our wee house and where we stay.
We have an older dd who is a pleasure and ha been perfect to parent (we did used to have more money tho)
We now have lively boy who I have said can be challenging but we do love him and he brings us lots of Joy.
I find the view of people being offended when 2 family members are pregnant a strange one. I'm of the opinion that it means the cousins will be close in age and brought up close together.
Suppose folk are strange in their views.
I have been friends with her for nearly 30 years and shouldn't get upset by it but it did really hurt me.
It felt like it was bordering on being nasty.

Now you've said her partner wants another, I think that explains it. Your pregnancy raises the issue again at home, and I expect she is dreading that. I've been there, it's miserable.

Not fair for her to lash out though.