What does your partner bring into your life?

[wangle99]

DH and I aren't having the best relationship at the moment. Basically I am his slave - I've become his mother . I was talking to a friend earlier also have relationship issues with her DH and she was trying to work out what he brings into their relationship.

I have been trying the same...

DH brings into our relationship; his wages from working full time. Sex occasionally.

I bring into relationship; wages from being self employed and working 3/4 time, sex occasionally, all housework, childcare, bill paying etc

What does your DH/partner/BF bring into your relationship? I'm seriously wondering if we have a future

thanks anniemac for that

you are all forgetting skidmarked grogs
and sethbreath in the morning

Pregnancies. We have been married for almost 4 years and had 3 babies (our first one passed away). Surely he brings more than babies, but I'm quite busy at hte moment and cannot think.

calm
practicality
humour
abi;ity to cut thru bullshit
sex and money

wangle if it's just the slavery/mothering issue, I think you can still turn that around although it's so comfortable for dh that it will take some doing.

It's hard to know if you still care for someone under those circumstances though, isn't it? If you feel taken for granted, it makes you feel anger and resentment. Is he kind to you? Is he on your side? Does he look after you if you're sad or ill?

huge debt
wages
gadgets we dont need or use
personal space invasions
one-sided conversations
laziness
bodyguard
untidiness
and of course...
empty promises

all the money
half the housework
most of the washing
loads of childcare
a lot of support
shed loads of security
some fun
stinky shoes
too much bad language
much wrestling
on demand earth shattering sex

Bagged a good un

totally sympathise Wangle99.

He brings 1/2 rent and bills
No other money (though he pays for his own fun)
Moodiness
Wide open windows - trying to keep his smoking away from us
Dirty clothes and mess
Complications, guilt, emotional blackmail & unreasonable behaviour

Occasional fun
Loving father to DD
Better the devil you know
A generally comfortable co-existence
His family

Poor Wangle.
It's very easy to get this feeling sometimes.

I'm not sure if it's very productive to write a list like this...relationships aren't black and white and shouldn't be divided up into who does what around the house. Sometimes we make a rod for our own backs by taking on things that we want done straightaway, rather than whenever the hubby gets around to doing it. Then a few months down the line you notice that you've ended up doing everything and are taken for granted.

It does sound like you need to reassess and make it very clear to him that he is being crap and needs to help you out more. Do you get time out yourself - or with your hubby?

Try to work out what made you happy to be with him in the early days and remember why you married him. There must be a little bit of that man left...surely?

If he doesn't change his ways or acknowledge how much you do then you will never be happy. It's not fair on you to take so much more responsibility than him. Life is far too precious.

If all else fails....leave him! He's a selfish bugger who will only drive you into the ground.

Sorry to be flippant!