...far from perfect. They are times where he has been a total arse, and I've told him straight - although he has never been an arse in an aggressive or scary manner. I've never had to prove that I'm 'as good' as him, and I've never felt that me and dd come second to him.
This is how we do Xmas. We make an amazon wishlists, one for me, him and dd, of stuff that we would like, about october time (we love to online shop and get a baaaaaargain!) We both get soem things for dd, and for each other. We have no one else to buy for, apart from the occasional friend.
We both wrap pressies, do decorations with dd, and make a Xmas dinner menu. I normally want to clean the house to within an inch of it's life in the days before Xmas, but if I don't have the energy / time, then that's fine. Dh cooks the Xmas dinner, I am in charge of gravy and drinks.
Dh will not: strop, sulk, use escort services, punch walls, drink too much and use funriture as ad hoc toilet, disappear for days, steal money / dd / other items, be in a quandry about whether he can be arsed deciding to stay with me or not, make huge financial decisions without me, or have any belief that it is still 1952 and treat me as a hysterical woman even when i am.
I don't have anything to do with my evil family so there will be no arguing, violence and hopefully, no need for the emergency services at any point.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes, dh is still a right tit. one of his present 'ideas' was to give me a voucher for a fiver off a book about low fat cookery that he got free with a tub of marg. 
So if you are experiencing any of the festive season crap above, know that it is not acceptable, necessary, or normal. It doesn't have to be like that. You don't have to put up with it at the expense of your physical and mental health.
Love, GlitteryShit XXXX