He ended it after four years today

[grapelovingweirdo]

And I don't even know why:( anyone familiar with my posts will know the struggle I've had with my DP

He got drunk and angry with me last night and was threatening and scary. I then left for work and got texts from him all day about what a c*nt I am and how he hates me. I'm off to my mums for Christmas but have been told to get out when I get back.

Christmas is ruined for me. I feel like my whole life is ruined

You really need to leave him. He vile and abusive. Don't waste your life with this piece of scum.

Who's home is it? Do you rent?

We rent together yes. Both names on the tenancy.

When I bring up how I feel, he says he can't handle it because of the stress of sd being with us full time. He can't cope with me being difficult too. I'm not being difficult, I'm just hurting and have nowhere to let it out as he doesn't want to hear it and minimises/makes excuses for himself on the rare occasion he does want to talk to me about it.

Why are you still with this guy?????

OP - I think he really needs time with his DD to help her to feel at home and deal with her mother.... You would be doing all of you a favor to find a place with a friend or family member and leave them to it. And it this would have the added advantage of giving you time to figure out what you really want. You can only compromise so much, and then one day you wake up and wonder who that person in the mirror is, because you don't recognize yourself anymore. He's called you a c*&^ and broken up with text? Please leave. Keep your self-respect! You'll need it; the rest of the world treats each of us badly at times, we don't need it at home, too.

Sorry but you need to get a grip. You are now contributing to your own misery by clinging on to this worthless man. Ask yourself are you really this desperate not to be single? Would you not tell your friend/sister/daughter/mother to walk away from a man like this? You can do it. You will be fine without him. But you will only get more and more unhappy if you keep clutching at his trouserlegs and clinging on for dear life while he mistreats you.

You have to realise that with billions of people on the planet the odds are you can find someone better than this guy? Who calls any woman a c**t. Much less their DP.

I know it's tough but you have to walk away from this guy. It will get better.

I know. I am going to find somewhere else to love, but not because sd is here. I'm all for "leaving them to it" to an extent and am sensitive to that sort of thing, making myself scarce etc, but if our relationship was perfect, there is no way on gods green earth that I would be moving out to make way and "give them some space". They get loads of space and I do make sure that happens. Big time. I don't know why but that has really offended me. I have bent over backwards and sacrificed loads to keep everyone happy.

Thank you for all of your replies. I am not afraid of being single, I wish I didn't love him so much. I am looking for a new place though.

I know I need go get out. I just can't seem to find the strength. Part of me still believes in him so much and I love him as much as I ever did.

I just wish he didn't dislike me so much

And I know I need to get a grip. I despise myself

Ok grape despising yourself is not a good way to live.
Let's get you back on your feet.
How can we help?

It's so hard changing how we feel isn't it. We know we should not put up with being called names, being hurt and all that but our hearts still these stupid men!

It's changing our mind set that is the hard bit. Realising that they are not worth it and don't deserve our love, support and commitment.

If there is a pill to take I would gladly have taken to remove the feelings. But I think their actions and things they say help you move on and time of course!