Afraid to end the relationship

[degreesofstrength]

I keep trying to end my relationship of 4 years (we have a DC aged 2) but it's like my partner hasn't heard. He is verbally aggressive when confronted with argument or discussion he disagrees with. Usually he then calms down but I have had enough and don't want our DC to grow up learning to please difficult and unreasonable people.
I think I am not firm enough, and the house is both of ours (rented property) and I don't want to leave it and make our child change nursery etc. I want him to move out as he works full time and has family nearby.
Whenever I try to split with him he says that I have to leave and he doesn't see why he should.
I get a frightened sick feeling about ending it and I think that's because it might be a big row and I'm just not up to being shouted at anymore. Also scared physically but I don't know why as he hasn't hit me or said he would before.
Has anyone left an emotionally abusive relationship and can advise me of how to do it?

Get legal and benefit advice first but I second leaving. Your desire to stay in the house gives him leverage which is very valuable to a controlling personality. If he sees that you are prepared to move out and away, then him staying in the property may lose a lot of its shine.

If you don't have an income then staying in the property could be very difficult (even if you qualify for housing benefit) and therefore staying could be a battle that delivers very little practically anyway.

OP, staying because you "don't want your child to have to change nursery" is a really weak argument IMO.

Given what he is like now, what do you think he will be like if you split? I would have thought you would be far better advised to move away from him and his family rather than staying put where he will feel he has a right to come and go still.

Fresh start OP. Courage.