I need to leave him but how !?

[Kittycat0706]

Hi I need some
Help. My husband and I have been together for 7 years he is 53 I'm 37. He never wanted kids and was divorced twice before he married me. We decided to have a child and we were lucky enough to have the most amazing little boy who is now 15 mnth old. My husband has made an amazing father but he is so moody and when we fall
Out he doesn't speak for 3-4 days and when he does speak
To me it evil the things he says. I work as a sales person and bring the majority of the money into the house I occasionally have to wrk
Away and he looks
After our son no problem but when I get home ( as I did this Thursday) after being away one night he tells me
I am the worse mother in the world and that I am sleeping with someone else (I'm not ). It is 3 days before Xmas and I am thinking about packing my boy the turkey and the gifts up and going to my dads to make sure my boy has a fab time. Does that make
Me
A bad person. Do I leave him for good this time
I don't non what to do. He keeps telling me he would get my boy and that I would never see him he scares me. His sister told me
Yesterday he used mentally abuse his x wife

Help me
Please xx

I'm sorry you're having such a shitty time. Do you think this 'episode' will continue over Xmas?? If so, go to your dads.

If not- stay and get through Xmas, then start planning. Get all the stuff sorted for you to leave if that's what you decide.

I think it's a bloody shame his sister didn't tell you that before you married him!

Holding your hand. Keep posting because people on here can help you love.
X

Thank you so
Much. The worse thing is I do believe he loves
The bones of me and when he is being "normal" he is great but then he turns In to this knob and that's it for 3-4 days. Last time was 5 weeks ago I really don't know what to do in scared
Will keep
Posting. Thank you for your kind words xx

What does he do in the 3-4 days? Ignore you? What type of evil things does he say?

It doesn't matter if he 'loves the bones of you' if he doesn't make you feel loved all of the time.

Do you think it'll be a miserable Xmas with him?

Btw- what he says about having your boy off of you us what they ALL say. That's meant to scare you.

What you're describing though isn't love, it's emotional abuse. It doesn't sound he has learned much in his last two marriages. If you are scared, maybe the best place for you is your dad's. Sorry x

This is the cycle of abuse (emotional, physical, whatever). There will be an abusive incident, afterwhich you will have the honeymoon period, then another abusive incident will brew before the outburst and then the honeymoon period follows and so on and so forth.

He is verbally abusing using you and in turn psychologically abusing you. He is blackmailing you with the threats he has made to have custody of your child.

Personally I would pack-up and go if you have the opportunity and strength to do it now. He will not get custody if domestic abuse is involved and I doubt he wants it really, it is just a threat to control you with.

Contact Womens Aid and Advice for Women and work out your escape plan, very best of luck and I hope you and your DS have a lovely Christmas.

He will ignore me for a while then start asking me questions again he keeps saying I'm
Lieing over the most ridiculous things. If it was a friend of mine I would be telling them
To leave him I think he has major issues The worse but was yesterday when we are in the lounge and ended up shouting at each other I turned round an any little boy was hidding behind Xmas tree. It broke my heart xx

:(
Well, you need to know that he won't change. If anything abusive men get worse.

Could you leave for Xmas and then decide what your plan of action is in the new year?

What do you think you want to do?

At this moment in time I wantto go up
To bed shin tell
Me he loves me and he is sorry but I know that is the wrong thing and the sensible side of me know so need to walk. It wil b along legal journey with him I know that much for sure. X

I have been there. You want them to hug you and be the 'nice ' them again. You have to focus on what you want long term. The only way you're going to get a peaceful, non drama life is to 1) leave him 2) he changes dramatically.

Don't think about the legal stuff. You take that one step at a time and get as much advice as you can.

I've just ended my 6 yr relationship. My DP has anger, communication and jealousy issues. He needs help!

He too won't speak to me for days if I don't agree with him. He's a bully towards my 2 DSs and I've had enough. Fed up of walking on egg shells and being piggy in the middle.

Our house is going up for sale tomorrow, we have managed to sort things out financially although it's very tense in the house.

I feel relieved, sad and a bit teary but it's over!

How are things Kitty?

Well he is back to normal all nice and stuff. At least he won't spoil Christmas but we will see what the new year brings thanks guys xx

Come back if you need to x

Glad you'll have a nice time...

Post again in the new year if you feel it'll help you xx

Glad you feel ok, Remember that look on your little boys face when you decide what you want to do in the future.xx