NC when family live nearby, how doable is it??

[luckyclucky]

After another toxic episode with my 'Mother' this morning I am closer than ever to thinking the only way I can deal with her long term is to go NC. And that I actually deserve to be free of her & her poison.
But we live in the same small town & I just don't see how it is possible.
I limit contact with her as much as possible and although NC is a dream of mine I just don't see how it would work.
If anyone has done it I would love to hear about it, do you just ignore them if you happen to bump into them in a shop/in the street & what do you do re contact with grand kids?
Thanks

Ha! Read my last post on Stately homes!
My toxic mother lives in the same street as me!!!
Last time I saw her she was in the street as I drove past and she turned her back to me. Pathetic! I have been NC, this time around, most of this year and it hasn't been problematic.
If I have one piece of advice to you or anyone else thinking of going NC with a parent, it would be keep your DC away from them.
My DD is very hostile towards me because of the constant poison dripped to her about me by DM and it has pretty much destroyed our relationship. She is also hateful to her DB because he is immune to his toxic gran and can't be bothered seeing her.
How old are your DC?
Well done on deciding to go NC. I know it is a big step but I am so much happier and stronger without all the negativity and lies. I am so glad I did it.

Thanks for your reply. I'm afraid I am not quite brave enough yet to have definitely decided to go NC. I am still trying to work out how feasible it is.
My DC are all primary school age.

So far I have 'managed' the effect she has on me by hugely limiting all contact & not engaging in her mind games. It has worked really well in that there have been big improvements in her behaviour but I am getting sick now of the energy I am expending coping with her if NC would take all of that away.
I have on previous occasions asked her to give me some space after we've had a huge argument. She never does & does textbook 'hoovering' (I can't remember which thread I read that on) so I don't want to start down the NC route unless I am 100% about it or if I waiver she will think she has 'won'.
I just wish she could be kind, loving & pleasant but I know that will never happen

Yeah I get this. You are grieving for the DM you never had and can never have.
I am lucky in that my DM would never hoover me. She is glad to be rid of me as I serve no purpose since I went VLC with her. She could not cope with that at all. I stopped telling her any personal info and cut the amount of contact right back. I stopped getting sucked into her drama and reacting to her. She ended up raging at me, literally spitting in my face with rage in my own home. I asked her to stop shouting at me and she stormed off. Haven't heard a dickie bird since, which suits me just fine.
However, you really do need to protect your DC from her. My DM made one of my kids the golden child and the other the scapegoat. She has done the same with my DB children. It is sickening the way she tries to turn her grandchildren against each other. She likes to be the puppet master.
If you really cannot face NC at this stage, try the medium chill/low contact approach. Talk about the weather, what you saw on TV. She will still try to press your buttons no doubt. Remember that to people like this, information is power and control and they will use and abuse anything you tell them.
My DM would suck me into conversation about my SIL and then twist it up to be what she would like to say herself i.e. something negative and hateful, and palm it off as if I was the one who had said it.
Try to limit the number of times you see or speak to her and the length of time you spend, as well trying to trivialise your conversations with her.
It will drive her mad and she will probably feign illness and invent some huge drama but stay firm
I wish you luck and a lovely Christmas.