am i wrong for doing this

[wontletmesignin]

Ok so some of you are currently aware of my circumstances.

Today - i feel everything has just got on top of me anf had made me question things. This being one of them...

Since i split from my ex - me and ds3 father have been getting closer. We have always got on well and basically never should have broken up. But...we did because of me.

Anyway. We have slept together a few times and both seem to enjoy each others company.
My therapist is all for me trying again with him. He suggests that i have a talk with him. Although, im not ready yet. Im all for taking things a step at a time and see where it goes.

But this is where it gets complicated.

I dont think i ever stopped loving him. This time we have spent together is just increasing my feelings for him and im getting scared.

Am i stupid for even getting myself into this position so early and considering what im going through. Even though he helps me forget about it and live in the present.

Or should i just enjoy it...

How recently did you split with your ex? Did you have these feelings for this guy when you were with your ex?

Do you mean you have said you want to try again with him, and the therapist supports your decision because you have made it? Or have you said you want to try again with him, and the therapist has said they think it's a good idea? Because if it's the latter, I'm not sure that's on.

May I suggest waiting until the therapy has finished and you feel confident to make your own decisions without external validation. (Of course, you can always ask MN - to get a range of viewpoints and advice, none of which you are obliged to take.)

Given all that's going on in your life at the moment (I only know one thread's worth), I would say take this very very slowly.

I am also puzzled by your relationship with your therapist. He seems to make most decisions for you!

I'm guessing there's a hell of a lot of backstory to this that I wouldn't know about so don't feel I could comment meaningfully. Good luck with whatever happens though and I hope 2014 is the best year ever for you.

Okay, have just caught up a little more on your backstory... you have been through a lot recently, haven't you?! And you've done so well battling against it all.

I reckon you need a good break from any relationships for a while. Say six months minimum? Have you done the Freedom Programme? It helped me think through all the ways in which my past relationship was bad, some of which I knew, some of which I hadn't recognised. And that helps to think what a good relationship would be like, too.

That would get you through three months! :o

If DS3's father is a good'un, then he'll understand if you say you're not ready for a relationship at the moment.

That would mean no sleeping with him, too!

And then find other ways to live in the present and forget your troubles...

Thanx all.

Yes i made the decision of wanting to try again. Only not just yet. Im not completely ready for a full relationship.
I have had feelings for him for years.
He was good to me. Only i couldnt see that at the time as i was scarred from a previous relationship.

I know its bad that i had feelings for him during my last relationship but i never acted on them.
My last relationship was all control and i was trapped. Well, i felt trapped.

I have done the online freedom programme.
I will be looking into the real life freedom programme once ive completed a confidence building course.

It's not bad to have feelings for someone.

But it's good to realise that you don't have to act on them.

I hope he waits for you!

Im sure he will. It seems he has waited all this time. Whats an extra few months