Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Angel is back

7 replies

angelpinkcar · 22/12/2013 09:53

Hi everyone not sure if you remember me?? Well its been a year now since I left DH. We are still separated and it has been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. You were all so right and the OW came out of the woodwork straight after we sold the family home and I moved back to London. EXH is still with her apparently but is refusing to reveal her identity. I did think of hiring a PI in case she meets the DC's as that's who fear for. As for all I know she could be some nutty woman. I feel it is someone I know as to why he is refusing to reveal who she is or it could be the last bit of control he has over me. Any ideas would be appreciated. I do feel a bit better than I did last year but it has been tough financially to say the least and bless them they do help out but my DP are driving me insane. They seem to be trying to exert control over me now as they obviously feel they have some sort of rights to my DC's as they assist with the childcare while I am working full-time which is also a nightmare as I am doing a job I really abore just because of the money and to keep a roof over mine and the children's head which the EXH refuses to do. Does it get any better, do things calm down at all? Will the Ex come to some agreement on when he is having the children not when it suits him. Sometimes I really think it would be easier to go back to him and try and mend the relationship as its tough out there on your own... Thank you all and Merry Christmas. xx

OP posts:
SirSugar · 22/12/2013 10:04

Two bits of advice;

People only have control if you think they do & don't look back, you're not going that way.

fifi669 · 22/12/2013 10:05

I think with contact you have to be reasonable to yourself, your ex and most importantly your DC. Regular contact is preferable on regular days. That way you all know where you stand. I would however be a bit flexible if on the odd occasion he asks for the days to change, that doesn't mean he gets to pick and choose all the time.

With regards to the OW, did you trust your ex with the DCs when you were together? It's hard letting go of your children. I would certainly want to know who they are spending time with, if only a quick summary. Eg she's called Mary, is a nurse, 34 and has no DC. At least then if your DC say something you know who they are talking about.

Pretty sure you'd be pissed off if your ex started vetting your new partners or getting a PI on their case.

angelpinkcar · 22/12/2013 10:56

Well chance would be a fine thing fifi669. Re me having partners/partner. So no chance there. I don't think he would be that bothered anyway. I suppose its because I am still very hurt about it all the disappointment of it all really. I know I need to move on, but when its chaos around you, you can't see the woods for the trees. You have to blame someone or something. Instead of maybe blaming myself as that's not healthy either. I just didn't think it would take so long to 1. sort out my feelings about it all and 2. For it to be so tough. Anyeway got to fly as got Christmas shopping to do Yuck!!!!

OP posts:
myroomisatip · 22/12/2013 11:06

If he won't support your DC financially can't you go to the CSA?

fifi669 · 22/12/2013 11:36

I know what I said is the right thing to do, doesn't make it any easier though! I checked the fb page of new girlfriend of my ex after we broke up. I wanted to know what was so special about her he didn't bother with DS. The answer was nothing. Just a normal person. We have mutual acquaintances and they say she's nice. Now I just feel sorry for her having ex!

Anniegetyourgun · 22/12/2013 12:42

What does she have that you don't?

Novelty value. That's it. And it doesn't last.

angelpinkcar · 22/12/2013 18:45

God knows what she has that I don't, probably has more sex with him, for now anyway until she finds out what a miserable arse he is.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page