I want a man

[YoureBeingASillyBilly]

3.5 years single and i dont want to be. Apart from exp (two relationships with him with a 3 year gap in between) i have only ever had brief dating relationships lasting a couple of months max.

So how do i do it? Obviously im giving out some sort of 'back the fuck off' vibe so need to change that for something more welcoming. How do i do that?

Taking better care of my appearance will help, pull the bobble out of my hair and put on more than just mascara.

Clothes- i'm a cleaner so dont tend to wear very good clothes as i have learned the hard way that they get lovely bleach patterns on them but when i'm not working i can make more of an effort to look less like i just jumped off a horse (leggings, brown boots, regatta jacket)

Getting out more- day to day no problem- i do need to get out more during the day apart from work but i dont get out for things like drinks at nights. Does that matter? Are local pubs the place to meet people?

Hobby- pass- i dont have any and dont see how i can take up anything that involves me getting out of the house without dcs or that doesnt cost money i dont have.

Any other suggestion? What do nice men like that would inspire them to talk to a woman?

Oh and hobbies. I love photography I use my phone can't afford a nice camera and have never 'learnt' about it... people have some lovely photo gifts this Christmas if I do say so myself. Id love to take up sailing but thats when I win the lottery

Oh and hobbies. I love photography I use my phone can't afford a nice camera and have never 'learnt' about it... people have some lovely photo gifts this Christmas if I do say so myself. Id love to take up sailing but thats when I win the lottery

Long hair and make up ? That's where I'm going wrong then! Tbh I don't try to look like every other mum at school because I mean to attract someone quirky, funky and interesting who Likes the same things as me. If I look like the homogeneous then I'll attract the homogeneous no?

I must add I'm not actually at the 'I need to get out and find someone' stage. I'm still in heartbreak recovery and suspect I will be for some time. It's just I was reflecting on the complete lack of male interest over the years and wondering how to tweak things. I have very short hair, nice eyes, no false tan or fancy nails but I do look after my body and wear things that flatter me and are a bit rather than than 'feminine''

I dunno, waffling now. I actually just want my exp back but I bit of outside interest would be flattering .

Well redundant I think we all have a type but some of the happiest relationships I have had were with people who I would never have classed as my type. Thats why I don't like online dating as its too easy to dismiss people by judging using your tickbox as it were! I want my xp back (not the abusive twat) sucks doesn't it. ?? Not going to happen for hence the reason for throwing myself into work. An area I can control

Actually love can just knock at your door. My friend met and is married to her online groceries delivery driver. Very happy too.

Aww redundant and home- i do know that feeling. Thakfully i am very much over my ex but i do know how you are boyh feeling and its just not a nice place to be. I hope you are both able to come to terms with how thjngs are now.

Home yes i work for myself, that is a great idea for putting something on over 'nice' clothes. I am just doing domestic homes at the minute but who knows what will happen.

Allofa that is a brilliant story- i suppose proof that it happens when you least expect it. Out of interest- how did they get to the dating part? Who asked who out? Was he her regular delivery man?

Because long hair is a symbol of femininity.

Some men must need visual confirmation that they're marrying a woman

Precious they are ALL men!! Could have been fun...

I have had v cropped hair since 16yrs old. Was never a turn off once men established I didn't bat for the other team

Short hair suits me and you can see my neck. um, that sounds weird but i know what i mean. Been told I have nice bum, eyes, style etc

I would be happy with online grocery delivery man! Don't get me wrong I'm not ruling ANYONE out, my point is that no one even sniffs....just a connection, some chemistry , a laugh . God just taking about it makes it seem very dire

Redundant- yes this is how i feel at the moment. No interest at all- no flirting from anyone. The last two men- i made the first moves.

silly I'm sure you're gorgeous. So these last two men? How did you know they were interested? And what did you do ?

The first one was on holiday and there was alcohol- staying in same hotel and me and my friends and he and his friends all went out for a night out together. In a club and he wa gaining too much attention from other girls for my liking so (and only with the aid of dutch courage) i just walked over and kissed him. We met up a couple of times after the holiday was over but that was it. I didnt know he was interested at all- i just took a chance.

Number two i had known for 18 months and again didnt think he was interested at all but spurred on by much MN support i contacted him and we chatted and got to dating but it fizzled out after a few weeks. Tbh i dont think he ever was interested but was enjoying the attention while it was there.