Red flag? Length of past relationships

[Measuringtape]

I think - and think this is reasonable - that by a certain age a lack of significant relationships is a red flag.

How long is long enough for a previous relationship by the time a man is say 35? Is 18 months a red flag? 2 years, 3 years?

Well, years ago I had a BF who was 37 before his first relationship, which lasted 3 years (long distance and non-cohabiting); then he was involved with me, long distance, non cohabiting, refused to commit so I ended it..last I heard he was in another LD relationship and - you've guessed it - running into trouble because he wouldn't commit. I would say long distance lets a relationship that's going nowhere, carry on for longer than it would if you lived close by, so be sure to factor that into your equation!

Well, having just come out of what I thought was a serious relationship with a man of 39 whose longest relationship had been eight months I would say a resounding YES!

However, that is me speaking from bitter experience. Plus a man of 35 with 18 months in the bag is a different matter from a 39 year old who has not even managed a full year.

If you really like him I would not let that alone put you off.

I don't think it's necessarily a red flag because relationships depend on two people. People with short term relationships may simply not have found the right person or be poor at choosing partners.

My exH would go to you with a single LTR of ten years and I really wouldn't recommend him to you.

The reasons for the beak ups are more illuminating IMO. And how they talk about the exs.

Talks very well, reasons seem reasonable IYSWIM. It does seem like he's just never met anyone he really thought could be the one.

I was almost 30 when I met my now husband and longest relationship previously was 2 years in my teens! I'm not a weirdo or commitment phobe, just never met the right person!

I don't think it matters much. Somebody might have been in a dead relationship for 10 years and not had the guts to end it. That could also be seen as a red flag.

I don't think its a red flag. My DHs longest relationship before we met was 16ish months and he had never lived with any of his GFs. He was 37 going on 38 when we met. He says he wasn't prepared to comprise and he just knew none of his ex GFs were right for him. When we met he says he knew straight away that if I felt the same then we would get married and have a family.

We are married and due our first NYE. Some people just won't comprise and take longer o find their one

Short term relationships aren't necessarily a sign of failure. I think they can be a sign of someone who's been having fun and hasn't been ready to commit yet.

My last few relationships were 3 years, 1 year, 1 year ... 18 years (begun early thirties and still going strong). Reasons for the short relationships were a mixture of not being ready and not meeting the right person.

My brother was only with his g/f's for a couple of years - for whatever reason they split, but he was the heartbroken one, just bad choice of women really. He married at 40 and has been with his wife 15 years now.

I wouldn't say its a red flag. DH and I were 33 when we met and neither of us had had a relationship lasting more than a year and had never lived with anyone - we are together 5 years now.

It can be that the person was just waiting for the right person.

But by say 38, if there's been a string of very short relationships, I'd be pretty wary.

I'd say be more alert for other red flags, but not to dismiss the possibility that he's simply not found the right person yet.

Perhaps it's a deep amber flag rather than red :)