Had an evening like something off of Jeremy Kyle

[offloadingthisshit]

Quite frankly XP has been a cock this year. He hit 40 and has acted like a twat. We have been clinging on by a teeny tiny thread since the summer. I did not want to split up with him based on 6 months of twattery as we have had 3 happy years together.)

Anyway, we were meant to go out in the week but he did not turn up. He asked me to go over last night and I did as I wanted to end the relationship face to face (am not taking his shit with me into 2014).

So we were just generally talking and he announced he has been shagging one of his female friends. I wanted to speak to her so called her and she came round. She says she has not shagged him and he then said he hadn't but later on, when she was still there, said he had. I don't really care whether he did or he didn't but was just sat there in shell shock thinking my once lovely relationship has turned to this shit.

I said I was going and the 'friend' said not to, to stay and work things out and she would get a cab home but I said, no, i'll give you a lift but then XP said he wanted me to go and her to stay the night and basically propositioned her in front of me as we left.

It gets madder.... She is quite a bit older than him, is an alcoholic and is bipolar. She said if he shagged her she was out of it and he said that is what happened. I said, hang on a minute, that is rape then (if a woman cannot give consent it is, isn't it?).

The upshot being I went to bed last night and at 3 in the morning woke up thinking I was going to have to call an ambulance as I thought I was having a heart attack. I must have fallen back to sleep and it was nothing more than anxiety I suppose. Today I feel like i'm having palpitations.

This has totally rocked my world. Surprisingly, I am not at all tearful and mentally feel quite numb to it all. I am never going to know the truth but given that he said that he has shagged a woman who possibly might not know who is having sex with her when she's drunk, i've got to go to the GUM clinic and get myself checked out.

Merry fucking Christmas me!

Wow. Upgrade yourself from Kyle to Springer I think.

It sounds like you should probably report him to the police for having confessed to rape, but I think both will swear blind nothing happened. So it depends what will sit better with your conscience.

It sounds more like he was just making some bollocks up so that you would dump him and then he could say you dumped him and not the other way around. Really mature. However, my concern would be that he might have done this before, and that he should be interviewed by the police.

I'm not surprised you're having some kind of anxiety or panic attack. Ideally you need to see a doctor to get something to help manage the anxiety. In the meantime, I think Rescue Remedy is meant to be very good?

Sounds like you don't live with him - thank god - although I would counsel you not to waste six months on someone you don't even live with for the sake of three happy years again in the future. I would imagine if you start looking back there were inklings of this kind of fuckwittery earlier in the relationship. Pack up whatever stuff he's left at your place and have someone else deliver it back to him asap. 2014 is a fresh start.

I am on the port as I haven't slept and need something to knock me out, probably not the best way admittedly...

No, I don't live with him but he has a key to my house. I asked him to return it today as he happened to be working in my town and he hasn't dropped it in. I've been out all day. I asked his sister to gt it off of him when she sees him next and i'll collect it from her.

Tbh, id change the lock. He's had time to get it copied.

I have thought about contacting the police. Not sure whether I should or shouldn't.

Yes, I will get my Dad to do that next week.

Make sure you can secure the property from the inside. I think he's not returning his key so he can hedge his bets.

You don't need to decide anything about the police right now.

Wow Jeremy Kyle indeed, no wonder your having palpitations!!!
Please give yourself a big pat on the back for getting away from this arsehole.

Id echo that about securing your flat somehow, this guy is quite happy to tell people he has had sex with a women who had not given consent, please be careful. At least keep a phone by your bed and let someone you trust know whats going on.

Yes, I told two friends everything this morning. I am a weak, weak woman when it comes to him because of history going back nearly 20 years and I am not going to go back there again! One of them works for the Police although is not a Police officer so I am going to speak to her about it on Monday.

Bloody hell! Nothing useful to say I'm afraid. Just bloody hell!

ffs change the locks! What a horrible time for you, you're well shut of him. Wishing you a happier 2014.

I will change the locks but I went and got the key today out of principle (not sure what the principle was ).

Anyway, all the usual, it meant nothing/she wasn't as good as you/I love you etc etc. I told him exactly what I thought of him.

I actually would forgive someone for having an affair as a one off thing because sometimes people make bad decisions but it doesn't make them bad people. However, the whole thought of him shagging an unconscious woman makes me sick. I was actually sick when I woke up this morning and the thought came into my mind.

Disgusting manpig.

'She wasn't as good as you' - well of course she did (allegedly) have the disadvantage of not actually being awake during sex.

And he actually said this to you after admitting raping her last night? Or is he denying now that this happened whilst she was unconscious?

Yes tribpot and, yes, I know!

I think I drummed into him what a scumbag he is!

His explanation today iss that they were both pissed and she consented but she just doesn't remember

He is a disgusting pig and a rapist. BUT i am not sure it is your responsibility to inform the police, maybe you could have a chat to this woman and encourage her to report him (there is a level of responsibility here as he could do it to someone else) but it is really her decision imo.

Oh and do you only have port in the house? because that is going to give you the mother of all hangovers! :)

I am sorry you have been put through this by this "man" but happy that you have finally seen him for the scum he is and can now move on - happier times.

I did have a cracking head this morning but I did sleep better.

I'm not much of a drinker and the port is for a Christmas recipe

I know, I don't think it is my responsibility but, you know, this woman is severely mental-ill with bipolar and alcoholism and does not have capacity. Then maybe I am focussing too much on saving the day and not sorting myself out

What a mess :(