Please give me the strength to leave my husband

[ChoughingNora]

Yet another argument where I have been shouted at and called every name under the sun, I have had enough. Actually I had enough when this happened last weekend when he called me a slag and pushed me in front of my children but he wormed his way in.

I can't take this anymore, being constantly told everything is my fault but how do you make a man leave when he just won't go?

Oh name changed btw.

Report him to the police for assault

I have twice before And it got me nowhere

He charms the police into thinking it was nothing. I push his buttons, I drive him crazy so he does it out of frustration. He can't help it. It's all my own fault, I deserve it.

Fucking cunt.

Insist on making a report of assault with the
Domestic violence unit

You have to be clear you want consequences for him though. If you keep taking him back and falling for the soft soap then of course no one is going to take you seriously, most of all him

If all you want is for him to be taught a lesson but you want to still stay with him, you are on a hiding to nothing, I am afraid

No I want him gone. For good.

I just don't know how to get rid of him. He won't leave me alone

He can be made to leave you alone. Talk to the specialist DV unit at your local police station and report the assault. Talk to Women's Aid as well. Unfortunately, some individual beat coppers are still misogynistic and useless with DV, but many are not.
Also, get legal advice: depending on whether you own or rent the family home and whose name is on the paperwork, you can get help to decide whether you want to take the DC and leave, or whether you need to get the man removed and prevented from returning. If he is physically aggressive, he can be forcibly removed and kept out by court order even if the home is in his name and not yours.

We have a joint mortgage. Neither of us could afford it on our own. I want to move out and rent somewhere but it's finding somewhere that will take 3dcs and me especially as I only work part time.

Find out what benefits you can get if you go it alone. This is what they are for. No one, in this day and age, is forced to stay in a relationship they don't want

You have to push very hard though. No one is going to come and rescue you... and he won't change into a nice bloke if you just keep waiting and hoping

Don't worry I realise this. I am done. I've 100% checked out of the marriage.

It's not the violence, or the shouting or the nastiness that's done it. It's him taking the piss out of me for having depression that's done it. He begged me to talk to him about it so I did and this is what I get. It's not a nice feeling when you can't even talk to your husband because you know he will use it against you in future

Oh, that is awful, love. What a cunt he is. I imagine any depression you have will be eased greatly by starting the ball rolling to end your relationship

Start with making a call to women's aid

I'm sure not being called a dirty scumbag slag or a fucking horrible bitch will certainly help.

Indeed

And you are none of those things

Does he say it in front of the kids?

Yeah if he's on one he couldn't care less what he says in front of them

Ring women's aid. Start making your plans.

This time next year you want to be in your own place, your kids happily looking forward to Christmas in a home full of love. You can make that happen. You can.

Sorry you're being treated like this. You're sounding resolute. Start the ball rolling and get you and your dc away from such a nasty piece of work.

Are you seeing the gp for your depression?

Find out what tax credits you can get if you work 16 hours or more a week. Just google it to get the tax credits calculator. You may even be able to stay in the house if you can get a mesher order. He will have to pay you 20% of his take home pay if at least 2 of the DC are his.
It sounds like you need legal rather than relationship advice!! Have you considered posting on legal? You can get a 30 min free legal advice session from lots of family sols these days.
Well done for finding the courage to leave this abusive man. Your kids will benefit from it in the long run and it sounds like you have given him more than enough chances.
You can also get an occupation order as previous posters have said, to keep him away from you as there has been DV. Good luck and stay safe.

Well done for trying to extricate yourself!

I think I've seen, on other freds, a link to a benefits calculator. I don't have it handy, but I think it might be available via direct.gov.

Enough about the practicals. The emotionals are important. I had a relationship like that, and it sucks the life right out of you. Totally on your side, hon. And a big un-mumsnetty hug to you.

Olgaga's excellent information and links about separating:
surviveseparation.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/separation-and-divorce-advice-and-links.html