First Christmas

[DotCottonsHairnet]

Sitting here looking at tree, cards and presents.

Writing a shopping list for things we need for the next few days.

All the same as previous years except Stbxh isn't here. We split on Christmas Eve last year.

Am mostly relived that the EA bully is no longer here and my kids and I have almost got through this first year as a happy new family unit.

Be quite glad to wave goodbye to 2013 - 2014 will be so much better. Divorce should happen by spring :)

Thinking of eveyone on this board who is in a similar boat - have read so many threads this year and gained lots useful stuff from them.

Its one of those "firsts" isn't it.
First birthday on your own
First social outing by yourself.
First Christmas.

Have a wonderful wonderful first Christmas with your children.
Free.

Hope you have a peaceful and enjoyable Christmas

This is my first Xmas without stbxh as well, we separated in July.

As much as it's all been a big relief, and things have massively improved, Christmas has set me back a bit to be honest. I just want to get it over with and move on.

The worst bit for me is the Christmas cards for some reason. Just seeing the three names on them instead of four. I thought I was being v strong up till now but those damned cards are killing me. I've not sent any because I can't bear to write them.

January the first will hopefully feel a lot better.

Rollercola - those blasted cards with 3 names - that has been hard.

This is almost the last first for me now - emotions very up and down about the whole thing.

Oh well I have kids, nice house and big family. He has rented hovel, ow and very few real friends and family now ;)

If I can offer any advice (8 years after escaping) I would say change whatever "traditions" you can without upsetting the children, and make new ones which are all your own.
Just do a lot of the small things a little bit differently. It does help.

The wisest thing anyone told me, way back then, is that it takes as many months to get them out of your head, as there werwe years in the relationship. Give or take a month or three....I think that is about right.
Its all onwards and upwards, after that.

Haveafestive - not heard that advice before - oh well, it was a long time (28 years) - might explain the wobbles these past few days.

Have talked with kids about christmas and what they want and we have tweaked stuff to suit us - they've had input with the shopping etc etc.

Does help we choose to move house this year so we have a new space just for us and no old memories here.

Dot...sending and ....

I'm also digging deep but am seeing it as a few days to be 'gotten over'. Yes, 2014 will be a good year for a few of us I reckon

X

Mamma - I know.,have read so many threads with people going through the same. I don't tend to comment much but read loads and knowing others are in a similar boat helps :)

Roll on 01.01.2014 - new year and a new life beckons :)

cheers to that :)

My first C/mas can't even bear to write the word since split in September. Have decided on no cards and no tree this year and feel better for it as I know next C/mas will be better.

I'm wishing you and your DCs a lovely time together Dot.

Thank you What - I have been following your threads and there are many similarities in our stories sadly. I hope the next few days aren't too tough for you and your DS.

Indian - thats not on :(

Thank you Dot x

Indians - that's not fair, I encountered this when my DS was young and I was single. I would bring a bottle of wine round and some chocolates and have a giggle with you if you were my friend.