I don't feel like I can make him happy.

[justgirl]

that's it really. I feel so sad, I don't really know how to tackle it anymore.

Is it your job to Make Him Happy?

What does he do to make you happy? Maybe you could do the same thing for him.

Then walk away. He's probably a self-obsessed, whiny emotional black hole who will make you utterly miserable.
No one can make another person happy. Being happy is something that you really have to do for yourself.

A happy relationship takes two to bounce off each other. Just like a friendship.

A good relationship is one of equals where both partners want each other to be happy and go about it in a natural, instinctive, caring way. If all the love in your relationship is going one way and isn't reciprocated then it's a miserable, soul-destroying experience. My suggestion based on your single sentence is 'stop trying to make him happy'... stop wasting your time and make yourself happy instead.

That's not your responsibility

you can't make someone happy

no one can make you happy

if he blames you for not making you happy - then he is looking for a scapegoat

if you are blaming yourself - you are putting yourself in that role

I guess you need to tell us more details of what made you to come up with this conclusion

As others have said, you can't make another person happy.

You should be yourself, really. Not trying to bend over backwards to try and make someone else happy. unless you are actively making them miserable

I know you posted late last night and it's still early, but I hope you come back to the thread OP. The realisation of what people are saying might be a bit overwhelming.

Hope you're ok.

Have you spoken to him about this?

Why do some of you instantly go into "fuck him then" mode. I like to make my wife happy (or at least try to), the OP obviously WANTS to make her partner happy. If my wife finishes work later than me, I make sure her dinner is on the table when she gets home etc. I don't feel duty bound to do anything and nor should she. Just because someone wants to do things to please their other half doesn't make them subservient.

Way to miss the point, neil.

The OP hasn't said what the problem is though GinAndIt.
It could be anything. The answer though seems to be, fuck him off, he's a twat.

Neil: Because there are two possible explanations for what's going on with the OP's partner. One is that he has a mental health problem such as depression. She can't fix that: he needs professional help. She can't force him to seek professional help, or to take medication if he is prescribed it. She can't make him happy.
The other explanation is that he's abusive and selfish and expects her to submit to him and devote her life to indulging him. She shouldn't have to do this.

In the case of a partner who is suffering from a mental health problem but getting treatment and working to recover, it's difficult but not unbearable to support the person - as long as the mental health problem isn't used as an excuse for abusive behaviour, or is so severe that the person is dangerous to live with. If there is no diagnosis and no treatment but the OP is just expected to put up with abuse, sulking, drama, attention-seeking and being blamed for everything, then the answer is bin and move on.

Neil there is a world of difference between 'doing nice stuff for your partner', which is what you describe and 'trying to make someone happy', which is what the OP describes.

The former is what two adults in a mutually beneficial, loving, supportive and respectful relationship do. The latter is what some poor bugger ends up doing, often exhausting themselves on a hiding to nothing, when they try to 'please' someone who can't or won't be 'pleased'.

You can enhance someone's life by doing nice stuff. You can't 'make them happy'.

"Just because someone wants to do things to please their other half doesn't make them subservient."

Of course it doesn't. I'm sure when your DW finds you have made supper she is very pleased. But the OP uses the word 'tackle' and says she is sad ... which means that her efforts to make this person happy are a) failing and b) causing her pain.

No one can make another person happy.
The trick is to be happy together.

I didn't say LTB

I said it isn't her responsibility to make him happy

That is a good starting point for any relationship

I like to make my wife happy

I love to make my partner happy. I am not responsible for his happiness though. I can't make him happy if he is unhappy.