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Relationships

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Gambling

5 replies

lbab1702 · 19/12/2013 15:36

So, my partner of 6 years decided to gamble all his rent and bill contribution for this month and rather than tell me to not expect to see any money transfered into my account, just waited for me to find out. When I did ( account gone overdrawn ) I told him to leave the house untill he had paid me the money. He somehow scrabbled the money together and it's now in my account, so in theory he can come back and live in the house. However, I don't want him to. He has a gambling problem but won't address it. He works all hours he can, but never has any money ( because he's gambled it all). We don't have much of a relationship anyway, as he's at work all the time, but when he's not, he's not got money or an interest to go out anywhere, prefering to sit on the laptop playing card games. If I try talking to him about it, he clams up, agrees with everything I say, but nothing ever changes. There's been an atmosphere in the house for months now, and it's all very depressing.

I have been to the CAB today to ask for help in working out if there are any benefits I can get. The rent on the house is huge but apparently I earn to much to qualify for any benefits. I don't know how to survive without his contributions. Moving house is not an option because I already pay less than the usual rent in the area because I've been there a long time and the landlord doesn't put the rent up as much as others because I'm a long term tenant. So what should i do. Let him stay, if he wants to, to help with the rent (though I will worry every month whether I'll get it ), or boot him out permanently and fall into massive debt, or move to a cheaper area in the UK which would mean up rooting my daughter out of her school and mean looking for a new job for myself. Also i have no savings so would struggle getting a deposit together if I did move.

Any suggestions much appreciated as I'm at a loss of what to do ( plus I have tooth ache and don't want to spend any money on the dentist till i have a plan in place ).

OP posts:
LisaMed · 19/12/2013 16:08

This may sound flippant, not meant like this, but could you get a lodger?

Joysmum · 19/12/2013 16:15

Was just about to ask the same thing.

lbab1702 · 19/12/2013 16:16

Exactly what I would like to do but as I'm privately renting it's against the tenancy to have a lodger. I was also thinking maybe I could get a language student in for short periods, without the landlord knowing. But then the concequences if I got found out would be a disaster. Thank you for replying though. It would be the obvious solution.

OP posts:
Jan45 · 19/12/2013 16:41

I took foreign students, I doubt the landlord would find out and even if he or she did, just act innocent, it's a good money spinner.

Don't stay with this guy out of financial dependency, that will really just eat away at your self esteem, he's in no way capable of having even the basic of a relationship, do yourself a favour and tell him to go.

glammanana · 19/12/2013 17:03

Can you go down the route of having a short term lodger unknown to the landlord just to keep your head above water whilst you sort something out ? surely the landlord would not object as he/she would be getting regular income and just think what if you decided to move in a new partner (not that you would) what could the landlord say really ?

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