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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

NC, Christmas and Money.

10 replies

MommyBird · 18/12/2013 10:24

Posted a few times. MIL is toxic and we have no NC for 4 months now. DH has the odd text but nothing more.

Im to feel sorry for her again and my DH.

She texted saying She isn't allowed to see our DC over Christmas so she's going to save some money up untill she allowed to see them again.

I just don't know how to reply/feel.
I feel so rubbish for going NC regarding the DD's but there's only so much a person can take.

OP posts:
EmmaFreudsGivingMeJip · 18/12/2013 10:32

Just ignore her, she is trying to guilt trip you and get a reaction.

EmmaFreudsGivingMeJip · 18/12/2013 10:34

Am I right in thinking you posted before about your wedding and her not seeing her GC? Sorry if I'm thinking of someone else.

Original poster
MommyBird · 18/12/2013 10:41

Yeah that's me :)
ive posted a few times about her as i'd never met/knew another person like her, i thought it was me.

OP posts:
TiffanyAtBreakfast · 18/12/2013 11:42

Brew Ignore.

Meerka · 18/12/2013 11:52

Attilla reckons that if they're too poisonous for you, they're too poisonous for your children and that makes a lot of sense

I would ignore her.

The feelings are difficult, but they are part of the price you pay for being the daughter of a toxic parent. they're part and parcel of the whole thing and a challenge in themselves; if possible try to see them as part of the legacy and not something that should govern you.

Original poster
MommyBird · 18/12/2013 12:14

Its my MIL so its my DH mom. I feel so bad for him :(

OP posts:
Meerka · 18/12/2013 12:35

difficult yes, but the same principle applies, just at one remove. How does your husband feel about NC?

Original poster
MommyBird · 18/12/2013 12:45

I'm not 100% sure.
I've said i don't want anything to do with her, she has too much to me, him, us and our kids, we just keep going in circles! She plays the 'i don't know what i've done' card so often its the most annoying thing of all.

I've said to DH that he can see her as much as he wants/talk/text, whatever. It's still his mom and he loves her.
But he just says he can't be bothered the stress and he feels mean explaining that she can see him but not the kids.

OP posts:
CreepyLittleBat · 18/12/2013 13:58

Don't feel bad about protecting your dc. Would you want them to feel as bad as you do? Course not. If she was that bothered, she could post something for the dc. But there's no drama in that, is there?

Original poster
MommyBird · 18/12/2013 14:06

That is very true.
We live 15 minites away, she could pop a card through the letter box.

Its's weird. She has made contact alot more now we've cut contact than she did when we had contact. Confused

DD's would prefer her time than her money. She think is solves everything.

OP posts:
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