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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sexually Frustrated - married man came onto me - mid life crisis!?

7 replies

mrsjonesxx · 17/12/2013 00:11

I haven't been on mumsnet for ages but this issue has been eating me up and I would really appreciate some good, (kind please), womanly advice. I recently went back to work after having time out to look after my children. It all felt like a baptism of fire being back in professional life and it took me a while to get back up to speed. During this time, a married work colleague flirted strongly with me. Lots of lingering eye-contact. Sitting very close to me and him whispering - about work but in a flirty manner. I have to admit I adored it but I felt like he was waiting for me to make a move and I couldn't. I hadn't been flirted with in years so couldn't quite believe it somehow and he is married! Now he has stopped the flirting because I didn't respond and I'm regretting it. I mean, I have never entertained the idea of an affair with a married man but there was really strong chemistry and I was/am attracted to him in a way which I haven't been attracted to a man in over 15 bloody years and in a way which I 'm certainly not with dh - never was if I'm honest. I appreciate this is probably all a mid-life crisis but my marriage has been awful for years, separate bedrooms, separate meal times, I don't know where the hell I'm going to meet men and I've just turned down the offer of fun and frolics with an attractive man who may also be in a dead marriage... Was I stupid? There is only one other woman in the office who is nearing retirement so I don't witness him doing this to other colleagues or anything but he's gone very cool so I've definitely blown it anyway. Now I feel more frustrated than ever. I don't see the point in ending my marriage until one of us meets somebody as at least the children still have a home with two parents but I keep thinking, however wrong it may have been, that I just blew my last chance of feeling alive again. I'm over forty and can't see many other chances coming my way. Do I just plod on and suppress everything again?

OP posts:
Leverette · 17/12/2013 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MerryFuckingChristmas · 17/12/2013 00:14

< yawn >

Leavenheath · 17/12/2013 00:27

snort at 'mrs. jones' for a username Grin

I don't think the great Billy Paul had this in mind when he wrote those lyrics.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 17/12/2013 05:45

If your marriage is dead in the water, end the marriage. Better to be honest about it and do the right thing than spend the rest of your life mooning over men that are (or should be) unavailable to you. BTW Married men are not the answer to a frustrated woman's prayer, easy lay though many of them are. You may be in a dead marriage but an affair will leave you feeling slightly disgusted with yourself on top.... it's really not the self-esteem boost you're anticipating.

Jan45 · 17/12/2013 12:09

What is stupid is staying in a loveless marriage and kidding yourself it's for your kids sake, also what else is stupid is considering an affair with a married man who will make you feel shit most of the time by letting you down, lying to you, never being there when you need him and basically using you for a quick thrill shag - if that's what you want out of life, go ahead.

Jan45 · 17/12/2013 12:10

Btw, he's probably gone cool cos he's realised you're more work than the normally desperate women he preys on.

RatherBeRiding · 17/12/2013 12:17

Get out of a loveless marriage and THEN start looking for a relationship.

Don't kid yourself you can find someone whilst still married and living in the marital home. How on earth, on a purely practical level, could you do that anyway?

Get a divorce, get on some online dating sites and see what happens. Currently nothing is going to happen except a sleazy little affair with a sleazy little MM which won't do anything at all for your mid-life crisis.

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