I haven't been on mumsnet for ages but this issue has been eating me up and I would really appreciate some good, (kind please), womanly advice. I recently went back to work after having time out to look after my children. It all felt like a baptism of fire being back in professional life and it took me a while to get back up to speed. During this time, a married work colleague flirted strongly with me. Lots of lingering eye-contact. Sitting very close to me and him whispering - about work but in a flirty manner. I have to admit I adored it but I felt like he was waiting for me to make a move and I couldn't. I hadn't been flirted with in years so couldn't quite believe it somehow and he is married! Now he has stopped the flirting because I didn't respond and I'm regretting it. I mean, I have never entertained the idea of an affair with a married man but there was really strong chemistry and I was/am attracted to him in a way which I haven't been attracted to a man in over 15 bloody years and in a way which I 'm certainly not with dh - never was if I'm honest. I appreciate this is probably all a mid-life crisis but my marriage has been awful for years, separate bedrooms, separate meal times, I don't know where the hell I'm going to meet men and I've just turned down the offer of fun and frolics with an attractive man who may also be in a dead marriage... Was I stupid? There is only one other woman in the office who is nearing retirement so I don't witness him doing this to other colleagues or anything but he's gone very cool so I've definitely blown it anyway. Now I feel more frustrated than ever. I don't see the point in ending my marriage until one of us meets somebody as at least the children still have a home with two parents but I keep thinking, however wrong it may have been, that I just blew my last chance of feeling alive again. I'm over forty and can't see many other chances coming my way. Do I just plod on and suppress everything again?