in over 20 years we have been married, my sil has never had/wanted any relationship with us, even though we tried repeatedly to phone or see her.her brother, my husband adopted two sons years ago, yet his sister never sent birthday/Christmas cards to them, don't even think she knows their names.but she wants her "blood" children/grandchildren to be remembered.a couple of years ago, her father who was 83, virtually blind and dying of cancer, had to stay with her for a while until arrangements were made for him, nursing care.she constantly rang me, shouting and ranting that I should look after him, the same as she did to other sil.i said I would look after him if it was too much trouble for her, but once she had made a scene, she said she would look after him.at his funeral she blanked both brothers, I think she has her head a bit too far up her ar...anyway, she was his executor, and my husband simply received a small cheque in post, no letter, nothing accompanying it.a while ago there was a big family party, I didn't want to go, but husband persuaded me to, the sil was there, so I kept out of her way, a bit stressful. the next day sil put her daughter to contact my husband saying I was "rude" to ignore her. then sil rang again asking to talk to me, I thought about it, and for husbands sake(possible reconciliation?) agreed to talk to her. the minute I said hello, she ranted and raved again, saying I was "disrespectful" at the funeral, and, and, and. so my dilemma is this. my husband still in the mind set that sil is still the sweet ten year old little girl, not the nasty abusive controlling bitch that she is to me.husband doesn't like confrontation, very rarely sees/speaks to sister, except when she brags about her husbands wealth.but I feel that I am being a shit to be the one who separates sister and brother. help please