I am sorry this could be quite long, I just really need somewhere to offload.
I started a thread in Chat over the weekend about my brother, but was a bit vague as was posting from my phone and hopping and off the thread, was advised I may be better off posting here, so, here goes.
My brother was an alcoholic. He would constantly drink heavily and would often fly into rages when he was drunk.
I remember being 11, it was a few days from Christmas, he had been out drinking, my dad was out with his brother (they lived quite far apart and this became a bit of a tradition), me and my mum were watching a film and he came in, drunk, my mum told him to go to bed and sleep it off and he flew into a rage, yelled and screamed at her, and ended up in the kitchen with him holding a knife to her, she pushed him away (in self defense) and he (being drunk), lost control and fell quite badly. He then told everyone my mum had attacked him.
He would also get drunk, fall over/hit a lamppost/whatever and then call an ambulance to take him to hospital claiming he had been attacked.
A little over ten years ago he was told that if he doesn't stop drinking he would die, he was drinking himself to death. This really frightened him and he gave up. It has left him with some mental health issues, he is very much like an over sized child. He adores my DS and his other nieces and nephews.
He will often sneer at my brothers if they go to the pub ("what you got to drink for? Its so pathetic seeing people drinking to have fun, wouldnt catch me in a pub"), and although he is generally very loving he can be quite nasty.
However, the nastiness of his mood swings is getting worse, for example, my mum had had her carpets cleaned and so asked him to put his slippers on before he went into the living room as they were still a bit damp. He completely ignored her and then yelled at her right in her face when she asked why he'd ignored her.
He has also started displaying some worrying signs, such as talking to himself and he has started completely fabricating stuff that he is absolutely convinced happened but we all know is a complete lie.
He has also been seen buying beer in the local shop (now, this may not mean he is drinking again as he is such a people pleaser he could potentially be buying it for his flatmates to get them to like him - he does this, randomly)
I live about 150 miles away and feel totally helpless. I can barely sleep with worry, as I know the options are quite limited, either he is drinking again and he will die, or his mental health has deteriorated due to long term drinking, to this point, (the examples of his behaviour I have given are quite mild), that I am terrified he may be institutionalised as he cannot be trusted if he is medicated, ti take his medicine or look after himself, my father is dead and my mother is almost 60.
I am currently at work (in the office alone for most of today, and just cant concentrate), I will be phoning al-anon (as advised on the other thread) in my lunch today (I would do it at my desk, however our office has the kitchen at the back, so even though my colleagues arent here, its pretty traffic heavy).
Sorry for the long ramble I just need to offload somewhere. I just feel desperate, I have to do something, I have to. I cannot just let him drink himself to death. I feel so sad and helpless, and I cannot stop crying, but at the same time I feel so angry at him.