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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Guy flirts a lot!!!! But how do I get a date out of it?

13 replies

Mintymoomoo · 15/12/2013 17:37

Basically what the title says have know I guy for around 2 months through work, see him about once sometimes twice a week!

He flirts a lot, asks all the right questions etc but still hasn't gone any further!

So what do I need to do to get a date? Please don't say for me to ask I just couldn't

OP posts:

MadeMan · 15/12/2013 17:52

Well, you can either wait and hope that he's building up to asking you out and not just mucking about, or you can ask him out yourself.

In the meantime I suppose you just need to encourage him to carry on flirting with you.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/12/2013 17:55

Ask him.

bluebell234 · 15/12/2013 17:58

sorry but, if he intended to ask you out he would have done it by now.
I think he just enjoys flirting.

ohtobemeagain · 15/12/2013 17:59

Perhaps he's married and is just enjoying the attention?

Original poster

Mintymoomoo · 15/12/2013 18:04

Maybe I might just have to bite the bullet and ask myself, this might be best time as after this week won't have to see him again for 3-4 weeks!!

He has dropped hints about helping me out with things etc but I didn't jump in and take him up on the offer maybe he thinks I was rejecting him!

And yeah you could be right ohyobeme maybe he is taken, know 100% not married as he told me but that doesn't mean he isn't in a relationship!

OP posts:

MadeMan · 15/12/2013 18:20

"He has dropped hints about helping me out with things etc but I didn't jump in and take him up on the offer maybe he thinks I was rejecting him!"

Yep, if you're (not just you) not going to ask someone out and just wait for them to do it, then you really do have to pay attention and accept anything they put your way and be receptive to them; you can't afford to be kind of, "Um, err, dunno, maybe, etc, etc...".

Original poster

Mintymoomoo · 15/12/2013 18:26

Thank you mademan, your right I just sort of laughed and dropped subject as I as kind of embarrassed, but yes I should just take up his offers to help even if it's not a date maybe that's his way of asking and getting to know more about me

OP posts:

beaglesaresweet · 15/12/2013 18:40

maybe mention to him now that you now would like to take him up on his offer to help - less scary than asking him out, yet some proactive action, agree you should do it before the 4wk break. Mind you, bear in mind he could be just a flirt, i.e. happy to spend time in your company but not actual dating, you'll soon find out!

MadeMan · 15/12/2013 18:46

I think people tend to look and wait for the obvious things like being asked out for a coffee, or asked to the cinema, a weekend in Paris (if you're lucky) then if they don't get asked those things they assume the person isn't interested.

Really everyone should be looking for their crush/potential partner to be blatantly showing signs that they just want to spend time with them, regardless of what they will end up doing. Helping to rearrange the office furniture alone together, or going with them to choose a card for a work colleague; things like that perhaps.

Original poster

Mintymoomoo · 15/12/2013 20:05

Yes 100% going to try and take him up on one of his offers for help this week and find out one way or another if this has got any potential to go anywhere. Thanks

OP posts:

JaceyBee · 15/12/2013 20:29

I would just ask him if he's single. Take it from there. If he's not then he's one of them that likes the game.

blueshoes · 17/12/2013 23:30

Ask him what he did over the weekend. Usually good for finding out whether he is in a serious relationship from what he does.

FluffyJumper · 18/12/2013 00:00

If he's offering to help you out then IT IS BLATENTLY OBVIOUS that he is doing this as a way of progressing the relationship without having to have the potential awkwardness of saying 'will you go on a date with me?' THAT IS SO CLEAR I CANT BELIEVE YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN HIM UP ON IT! Clearly he means to do you a favour so you have an excuse to offer to "buy him a drink to say thank you"

He is being too subtle for you

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