Telling my parents I'm going to get engaged

[Snargaluff]

Have been with boyfriend for 6 years. We live apart due to work. I'm planning to propose NYE ( very cheesy but it's an in-joke of ours)

I want to wear my aunties engagement ring, which my parents always said I could have. Therefore I need to tell them about it! The problem being that they don't particularly like him, mainly down to them being very strict Catholics and he is not at all.

I only recently moved out, maybe 6 months ago, as I had been caring for my mum before that. I have a good job and rent a nice house. I'm mid twenties and therefore... I know that I can decide who to marry! But I seem to have regressed this morning to a nervous wreck at the thought of telling them. I'm meant to be meeting them for lunch and I've decided to tell them about it then. But I am so nervous! What's the best way to do it?

Well, I'm not Catholic and I'm in Ireland, and I don't generally find that people don't like me because I'm not Catholic! I kind of suspect though, that if parents of an older generation than me didn't like a prospective son-in-law, the Not-Catholic issue might be a handy peg upon which to hang other (more problematic to verbalise) reservations.

But that's a digression I know.

If he's been around for six whole years and their basis for not liking him stems from the fact that you've slept with him, then hopefully getting married will lessen the sin :-/ ???

Op I think that's a lovely thing for you to do, and if you want to have the ring ready then you should do what you feel comfortable with. You know him and your relationship best. I think using a family ring is really nice :)

Having been (28 years ago) in a remarkably similar situation OP, I definitely think wait till after, then present it (together if poss, it wasn't for us) as a fait accompli.

Happily for us MIL is no longer quite so vocal in othering me for being non Catholic, and possibly even forgives DH for not converting me. Providing her with 3 grandchildren has definitely helped that

If you tell them before you are giving them the opportunity to say they're not happy. Telling them afterwards how happy and excited you are, and reminding them how much it would mean to you both for you to wear your aunts ring will, I am sure ( well, I'd hope) be easier.

Good luck! I hope you end up as happy as DH and I.

well, like parents pretending they don't know their daughter has sexual relationship...
they can't be that naive?

that she lived with him and not had sex

maybe parents didn't know they lived together

Well I have said they know we had sex? I've never said they didn't know.

We've been together 6 years- they found out near start of relationship, before they met him, and they don't like him.

Then we move in, they still don't like him as I was "too quick to drop knickers"

Sorry if I didn't make it clear, but they aren't naive as such, they're just hard line.

Poor OP!
Mumsnet can be rather forensic sometimes
Good luck for NYE, I agree with the other posters who say get engaged first, then sort out the ring.

My parents thought my bf and I had separate bedrooms when we lived together. I said that's the spare room and my df said " but where do you sleep?" And he wasn't joking.

We are not the slightest bit religious however mil is and constantly interferes with wanting a catholic upbringing for the dc and all it entails, which is not happening. Its such a bore.

Good luck op:)

Good luck OP!

Why not head to Claire's accessories or acssesorise and get him ( and you!!) some sparkly number? Can be cheap so tounge in cheek for him, and would give you a place holder when he says yes!

My dad is muslim and was quite capable of liking everything about a prospective boyfriend/husband of mine apart from his faith (or lack thereof). That one dislike would have a major influence on his approval rating though.

I say 'was' because I ignored this and am happily married to an agnostic. DH and DF get on quite well in general so it's all turned out well