I need some space. I don?t hate my DH, he?s decent bloke, I?m very fond of him and he has never ever been anything but loyal and loving and has never hurt me in any way. Bit of a plonker in some ways but aren?t we all at time. I?m not in love with anyone else?not do I want to be. But I want a chance to be my own woman again. With or without the children TBH?.which shocks me as I love my kids more than anything else in the world. But atm I?m climbing the walls at home ? I want my own company, I want to be able to go to bed on my own, to be able to get up at my own pace, to do what I want in the evenings without worrying about what anyone else wants or needs. I find the evenings when DH is out much easier because then I only have to get the children to bed and then I?m free. The thought of living alone is sheer bliss. Pre-kids DH and I always used to do our own thing a lot of the time ? we didn?t live in each others pockets - but now that the children take up so much of our time and energy there isn?t much room for us to be independent anymore. When I read some of the posts on here by Mners whose partners are abusive or unfaithful I feel so guilty at even thinking of leaving my DH. But I can?t quite shake the feeling that I?m shortchanging myself. I always put everyone else first which is fine because I ;ove my family but right now I?m struggling. So many things have happened in the last few years ? kids, DH?s change of direction work-wise, money problems etc.
Tell me this a female mid-life crisis and it?ll pass .I am so confused.