I suppose I was trying to be vague because I could write loads about how great he is and then feel like 'yep its got to be just me' or write the bad stuff and come across as blaming him. Yes it's definitely not black and white. We've been together almost 5 years. Normally we are really happy.
I have recently stopped taking medication for depression. This has been a positive and I'm filling my life with things I love to do. Found a new lease for life if you like. The only downside is that I seem to have a lot less tollerance for his annoying points. I lost a lot of myself while i was ill for a year. That is coming back. But I dont know if perhaps I'm not as well as I thought and its all in my own head. I've been on relationships a long time and he is a fantastic DH and a wonderful dad. There are no worries with being a team at home, all the common issue we read about.
I feel so ridiculous complaining about this as I really have so much to be grateful for.
I should say that we are both control freaks, so at times that has created friction, as you would expect. But not huge rows or anything dramatic. It just helps to show my part in this too. My issue is he is incredibly intelligent and sees the world as black white. Or at least thinks a lot of things should be that way. I'm just not able to laugh it off like normal. He likes to be right all the time. I know I'm smart and good at things. But I feel worn down being with someone who is exceptional. I don't feel as confident as I was when we met (definitely not all down to him, I have plenty of issues that have knocked that all on my own) If we are doing something and I make a descion that isn't logical to him, he will question it. It's trivial but I'm so tired of having to explain myself. I dont know if it's a new occurance or if I just let it slide before, but lately I can say something and he will then repeat it in his sentence like he thought of it. Or he will explain something as if I don't understand it, even if I have been holding a conversation about the subject. He has always had to know something, so if someone mentions a fact that may not be totally correct or he believes to be wrong, he will look it up. This happened again yesterday with an acquaintance. The subject was just a light conversation and an item mentioned that he believed was wrong. He brought up the info on the phone and then confirmed he was correct. Not in an aggressive way but just presenting the facts. I'm married to him and I was not annoyed by it.
I have done the sensible thing and talked to him about the issues (apart fom yesterday). He's said he hadn't realised and he will work on it. He's not nasty, in fact the opposite. I just feel annoyed by him all the time lately. I knew what I was signing up for with him. He's viewed as arrogant and argumentative by most people. It does take time to see past these qualities and through to the fantastic man he can be. but my god I'm exhausted. Someone asked do I want to go to bed with him. At the moment the thought of having time alone is really nice. Now i have the mental strength to cope with tasks I couldn't before, I love to go out and do things without consulting him. It sounds daft but shopping on my own is fun. We are now doing activities separately and have plans for stuff together. I really do hope that this is just a case of needing more time apart and it will settle. I don't want to drift apart and us fail. But at the same time I don't want to try change him, that's not fair and if his mother didn't manage it I certainly won't.
sorry it's so long