dumping someone to protect them?

[yourowngood]

Testing NC...

Be honest with him. Hes an adult and can make his own choices. If he is not happy with what you are willing to offer, then he has the choice to say no, thats not enough for me. You dont need to protect him, you just need to be honest with him. Its not your place to determine what his choice would be, iyswim.

If you like him and he likes you - and you have told him you are not ready to commit but he still wants to be with you, and you with him - why push him away?? One day you might decide he is just what you really need, and by then you will KNOW if he is right for you.

I was in his position about 8 years ago; it really hurt me that she was really happy in my company, but then suddenly pushed me away - even after I had told her I was happy to wait for her, and to keep the relationship at whatever level she wanted until she knew what she wanted.

The last I heard of her, she was going through a string of short term "affairs" and not really happy.

BTW, her LTR was an abusive husband currently inside for attempting to murder her and her two children.

How interesting you don't want want to be emotionally responsible for him. Why do you think you would be? People date, stay together or split- its normal.

You aren't responsible of his happiness nor he yours in the great scheme of things. Are you on a very busy career path?

I had a bf like this once and I was deeply offended by his thinking he was responsible for my emotional well being and dropped him. I was just looking to date and see what happened like a normal person. He didn't really have much dating experience and seemed to think i was expecting some kind of Disney experience:)

He regretted it but it was too late. I had met someone else and that ship had sailed. You are overthinking it. Just date the man and see how it goes, perhaps.

Lavender it interests me too. I think I had been in a disfunctional relationship for too long.

I feel like I have to factor in how everything I might do affects the other person.

I thought that was a normal thing. I don't mean just consideration, that seems like a normal thing. But beyond that. To the point where I stop thinking about what I want.

I will just stop talking about all this with him and just see how it goes. If I'm happy then I carry on, if I'm not I stop. I need to stop second-guessing him.

If you have had a LTR with someone who was reliant on you, then yes. It will affect you. Their path in life is not reliant on you, putting your life on hold for mr/miss perfect is not a good look.

But, if your new chap has friends, a job, and a social life and seeks a relationship with you to enhance it, that's different.

Agree to stop discussing it with him at once and just date and enjoy being someone's girlfriend. If he is needy and if you go out with your friends and he is at a loss, that's a problem IMO.

But not your problem iyswim. Just carry on, taking things at your pace, you'll get closer or you won't.

I have dumped someone protect them. He was much more serious about the relationship than me. I could tell we weren't experiencing the relationship in the same way. I really liked him but knew it wouldn't progress. I was keeping it going for selfish reasons (sex, to feel good about myself) I feel I definitely did the right thing by him, I told him I couldn't give him what he deserved and I didn't feel it was morally right to waste his time.

Are you feeling like this because he is needy and clingy and insecure (good reasons to dump), or are you second guessing someone who could be a good boyfriend to have for a while? In your earlier posts it comes across that because you feel he isn't 'the one' you shouldn't string him along. You should make a decision on what feels right now not what you fear you might feel in 5 years time.