Just to recap if anyone is interested.
I posted a couple of months ago about my EXDP having every weekend with our boys.
I wanted some weekends and down time with them. He refused.
Have had several major rows with him shouting down the phone for me to get a court order etc.
Saw a mediator today. We have agreed to each have alternate weekends and have a split weekend in between each weekend!
He was pretty obstreperous to start with, but I kept my cool, bigger him up as the most fantastic dad on earth and it worked.
The mediator actually told me afterwards that I was quite remarkable. That I had virtually directed it and put the ideas into his head in such a way that he thought they were his ideas!!!
We are to have a communication book that we pass between us to enable better communication. The boys will also be able to write in this book.
The mediator said that most people who go to him end up bickering so much that he is constantly having to pull them up over it.
Am so pleased with the outcome. From NO weekend time with the boys, we will both end up with virtually 2 weekends per month. The pattern will be Mum, split, Dad, split with full flexibility on both sides. Watch this space!
I have got them this weekend and am soooo chilling with them right now!!
Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice. Mumsnet really is a fab forum xxx