saw a picture ow online...feel sick

[wetwetwetfan]

Hate myself for looking but had the urge to Google her name. Saw a lovely picture of her being given some award for work. All perfect and pretty and young. Self esteem just got a kick in the stomach. Hate, hate, hate myself for doing it.... now I am fucking angry at him again. It's only been a couple of months since it happened. When does it start to hurt less?

When you stop caring.... Until that point you have to make a conscious effort to get on with your own life, make plans, stay busy, be with people that love you and have zero contact with the ex. Good luck

She's not perfect love, she got involved with somebody else's partner. Unless she was duped by the nasty cheat as well then she is far from perfect.

Stay focused on yourself and be strong x

Sympathies wet, been there done that, and it takes time but you will heal.

It wouldn't hurt any less if she was hideous. My ex went for a very err unusual sort, it just left me totally baffled as to why. The biggest knock is just the fact that they did it.

It's only natural to be curious, and you will probably do it again, but that will get less too.

3 months since I found out about my H's OW, 2 months since I looked her up and saw the most beautifully stunning woman, cultured, well travelled and intelligent. It was the worst night of my life - and I have had a few of them to challenge that believe me.

It was my lowest, I was utterly desperate.

I didn't believe it when MNers said it would get better, but slowly, but it does. What you have done is perfectly natural, I did it twice but won't ever again. Why torture ourselves? It only hurts you and you're hurting enough already.

Once you realise that no matter how perfect and pretty and young she is and realise that she must be very ugly inside, you will get better and stop focussing on her. If it was an awards ceremony, she would have made herself look pretty for the event. Her breath probably smells really, really bad when she wakes up.

He has hurt you, she had no loyalty to you, he did.

Cogito is right, stay busy, make plans - it's what I am doing. Do you have DCs?

It wouldn't hurt any less if she was hideous.

I think it actually hurts more if she isn't stunning - just how hideous must I be if OW is fatter, uglier, etc

Agree with others - it hurts no matter who/what they are.

My ex, two weeks after his mistress said no thanks when I found them still at it 2nd time, was shacked up with his sister's best friend who he couldn't stand! Still together 4 years on, making each other happy/unhappy depending on the day of the week.

It was hard enough dealing with the "love of his life" mistress, but this was the killer.

Time really does heal. Trust us

I saw a photo of the ons exh cheated with 2 years ago quite recently. By accident. I nearly barfed all over the ipad. I was effing upset for a few weeks afterward and could not be placated but I realise today I feel nothing again. We are divorced and I met someone else. She's old news

"Your beauty is skin deep, but your ugly goes to the bone"

She is not perfect, perfect women dont fuck another womans husband happy in the knowledge it could destroy a family.

I would agree that when they dont wipe the floor with you looks wise, or career wise or money wise, it can sometimes be worse.

Both of the OW I have had to deal with were nothing special. One was distinctly manky (if the photos of her in her underwear were anything to go by [boak] And the other one is 15 years older than and has a face like it has gone baggy in the wash! Which really did hit me because I was thinking "Fucking hell, how do I look if he would risk our marriage for THAT?!"

In my case, the OW was less attractive, older, quite nasty and married, shes ugly inside and out, so yeah, that hurts like fuck.

I really don't think it's to do with the ow...what they look like, what they're like. I think it's because they can.

It does doesnt it Lucius? If my husband prefers someone like that what does it say about me? Of course I did eventually work out what it said about me and what he had known all along, that I was way too good for him and he was threatened by me.

Didnt stop that first heartbreaking kick to guts hurting like nothing on God's green earth :(

That's interesting Bogey, do you know after 5 years I'd never worked that out, I still often think I just don't get it! (she was far less attractive etc etc)

Far less attractive, far less less intelligent, far less kind, far less likely therefore to find those faults in him as she was the same!

You however will have highlighted the faults that he knew he had all along, because you dont have them.

I've never worked it out 4 years later, but i couldnt give a shit, exp left me to be with her, but she didnt wanna leave her husband, so laughs on that dickhead.