Would you end a relationship right before Christmas?

[OhNoNearlyCrimbo]

Exactly this.

The bf has done nothing wrong, relationship just going nowhere; so just feel it's reached the end.

Is it a bad thing given the time of year? (bf thinks Christmas is special) Would you wait till in the new year?

I can see where you are all coming from about him being more upset knowing I pretended, and yes, another good point about him possibly getting out to parties and meeting new people.

We don't live together so thankfully none of that drama.

In conclusion - yes it's sh*y but may be worse to carry it on, and there will never be a good time.

Feel awful will just have to get on with it.

Thanks so much for your perspectives - big help

Oh and as for me…..

I actually LOVE being single, had been with the guy over a year, I've no plans to meet anybody, this year will be me and my looming pile of coursework

Of course. He's not a child to be protected is he ? It would be beyond patronising to wait, if you have made your mind up.

Good for you.
Hope you have a great year!

Yes end it. My bil dumped a girl just after Christmas, she was especially devastated. Dump him now, definitely don't string him along over Christmas. There's almost 2 week til Christmas so get your skates on so he can make alternative plans. I also wouldn't give him presents - sends the wrong message and he will have to think of you on Christmsd day when he opens them.

Definitely worse to hang on till after Christmas - he will know you only did it out of some kind of pity and then he will feel even worse. As others have said - there's never a good time to do it, so you can at least be open and honest with him, which is better than a pretend-happy-Christmas.

I did 3 weeks ago I'd been putting it off for months - even asked on here the best way to do it. Anyway, made the decision, but it still took me 3 whole weeks to pluck up the courage to do it.

I am relieved I finally did it, although I still feel terrible as he wasn't expecting it. But I do feel so much better.

We'd been seeing each other for 2.5 years, my first "proper" relationship since my asshole cheating ex cheated on me the second time over 4 years ago .....trust came hard, but this guy never gave me any bad feelings. Just realised over the last 6mths I wasn't getting any fantastic feelings either, including a wonderful birthday trip from him to Paris.

Please - for your own sanity, do it TONIGHT. There's no time like the present.

Good luck

I finished with my ex between Christmas and New Year. It would have been better done before Christmas, with hindsight, and Christmas just highlighted for me that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. (This was a long time ago, I hasten to add - I've been with DH - whom I left my ex for, for over 20 years!)

I was dumped once the day before Christmas Eve. Spent Christmas Day in misery at parents house, lost loads of weight and got absolutely plastered at New Year with some friends I hadn't really been out with before.

New year I started to have a great time.In February the exBF came back and said he'd made a mistake but I didn't look back whilst walking away.

In your situation (I.e. No kids together, not living together), I would. Mind you, I have dumped people on valentine's day and their birthday before, so am clearly a heartless bitch anyway

I'm in a spookily similar situation to you. Been with my guy for a bit less than a year and although he's lovely I just don't want to be with anyone right now. I was on my own for a few years previous and really enjoyed being single. Tbh I think I'm just not relationship material at the moment, I just want to spend time with my son while he's growing up.

Anyway I'm going to wait until after New Year, it's my birthday shortly after then obviously Valentines etc so don't want to drag it out too long but don't want to ruin his Christmas because I know he'll be upset. We have made a few plans over Xmas and I know it will be nice to spend the time together... Think I'm kind of hoping it'll make me feel differently about the relationship but we'll see...

So did you end it or have you decided to wait?

I would just do it, imagine if he buys u an expensive xmas gift you'll feel so bad

Didn't worry my DP last Friday. After 8 years. Pretty much out the blue.

To be honest, it being Christmas is the least of my worries - at least there is plenty to distract me, lots of social occasions coming up and a new year to start over again. [Sob]

I think it'd be worse in Jan as it's a much more bleak and depressing time of year anyway. Plus he'd have your 'lovely' Xmas together to be all nostalgic and sentimental about, which he can do without.

Have you done it yet?

I waited with a bloke I wasn't into, and yes, as tiamaria says, he got me loads of presents and I felt AWFUL!

I've done it, things were very good for a long time, he had depression, I'd tried EVERYTHING to help him and I just had nothing left to give. Woke up on the morning of the 21st December about 7 years ago now and realised it wasn't making me happy anymore - just like that. I woke him up, and as kindly as I could, told him it was over. He moved out that day.

For his sake, I still saw him over Christmas for family occasions (it was what he wanted and I felt I owed him) but I was also fairly cold to be honest because I didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

I felt awful for ending it when and how I did, but I'm pretty sure I would have felt like that no matter when it had happened. I also never regretted doing it. We're fairly good friends now, so it couldn't have been an unforgivable thing to do!

If you need to do it, then do it, just try to be as kind about it as you can as it may come out of the blue as far as he is concerned.

Why wait and prolong it even longer, all the falseness over Christmas. Certainly don't wait till 2nd January, there's no logic in it.

Make the break now, he can get off to Christmas parties and have a cheeky kiss under the mistletoe and maybe meet someone else. You get to enjoy Christmas without this hanging over your head and you BOTH start a new year without one another and hopefully still firends

Just found your thread OP.
Can I just say that the most important thing about any relationship is honesty. If you really cannot see a future with the guy then you should break it to him now, as gently as you can, rather than let him go through the holiday season thinking he has a partner when you are planning to leave him.